The following online dating safety guidelines are the result of conversations with members of my local police force. In addition, the guidelines were sent to another police officer to ensure that they’re accurate and responsible. Still, these are general guidelines and their focus is primarily on the process leading up to a meeting.
Hence, these are not profile writing safety tips (such as – don’t divulge personal information that can be traced to you and jeopardize your privacy and security). Nor are these safety tips about online dating photos (such as – no children’s pics, and shots that show your address or license). These are general guidelines to help you negotiate the online dating process leading up to those first few meetings:
1. Instinct and intuition will not protect you from a predator. They’re brilliant at deception whether by email, phone or in person. If you meet in public, chances are you could be safe. However, why take chances when you have the opportunity to take precautions.
2. Don’t rush into a meeting
3. Get verifiable details through emails before you meet, such as a phone number. Use the site’s email system, not your private email – it can be traced back to you.
4. Don’t give out information that’s too personal or that can jeopardize your safety. When you’re ready to take it to the level of a phone conversation, don’t give out your phone number. Instead, you make the call and block your number.
5. When you feel ready to meet, still remember that you’re meeting a stranger. If you’ve had a long period of email and phone exchanges, don’t be lulled into a false sense of familiarity or security.
6. When you meet, never leave your drink (even if it’s coffee) or purse unattended – no matter how “safe” the person feels. In fact, until you really feel you know the person, don’t let him get you drinks that you didn’t see poured, etc. The police officer added, “While some may think that’s too hypervigilant, I don’t think you can take too many precautions when it comes to your personal safety”.
7. Don’t divulge your address or other key personal information to this stranger. Don’t go into a car alone with this stranger. Always remain in public for the first few encounters. The police officer added, “We can never reiterate this enough. Don’t give out any personal information until you feel absolutely safe and comfortable”.
8. Let a friend know who you’re meeting (provide the verifiable details you’ve collected such as their phone number), where you’re meeting, how to reach you and when you’ll be home.
9. Arrange for that friend to call you during your date. This will give your loved ones peace of mind. It will also make clear to your date that you are not entirely alone or vulnerable. The police officer added “Speaking for myself, I’d be impressed that the woman was really heads up about her personal safety”. Ditto!
10. Don’t feel self-conscious or embarrassed about taking these precautions. Decent men understand that women need to be careful.
I hope these guidelines help you make safe decisions. If you have specific concerns or questions, please contact your local police non-emergency centre.
I also hope guidelines don’t scare you. In fact, with precautions in place, online dating can be a fun, enlightening, social and exciting process. So enjoy!
