411: ur online dating profile is not a txt mssg!!

Cartoon by Chris Madden.

Some profiles are the written equivalent of a Mike Tyson interview. Can’t people write in full sentences anymore? Why are so many online dating profiles a few abbreviations short of comprehensible?

I was on three major dating sites today: okCupid, Match.com and Plenty of Fish – all have a large base of fairly mainstream people. Yet, on every one of these online dating sites, I found dating profiles that were missing vowels, consonants and the basic principles of written communication.

I thought lol and lmao were intellectually lethargic, but the following shows such a lack of mental fitness that I suspect inbreeding:

Curious to c wutz out here cuz I’m back in the game. I’m a free spirit who’s very grounded and a lil shy!! Luv my space but also luv to share it. Hope ur the same.

WTH? (that’s my version of WT…I can’t do the F letter). If you can’t complete a normal sentence on your online dating profile, what kind of conversational genius would you be on a date?

I’m a big proponent of keeping online dating profiles fairly short, but that doesn’t mean cutting down on letters or cutting out all signs of elementary spelling. If you’re trying to impress, the word “wutz” is about as inspired as a burping contest.

Write full sentences. Check your spelling and grammar. Sound like someone whose brain is as nimble as your thumbs. Or, for the love of all things sacred, hire me to write your online dating profile. I’m an ad writer, I’ll find out what makes you special (and I don’t mean the kind of “special” that’s interchangeable with “challenged”) then I’ll write an online dating profile that makes you stand-out and compete among the millions of singles out there. That’s what I’m trained to do.

So get started by filling out the personality quiz. . It costs nothing to do even though it’s the most important step in crafting a great profile – one with real sentences and stories. You can also get some pointers by checking out the samples.

Seriously, if your idea of writing is a paragraph filled with abbreviations, you need to hire me. By the way, try spell-check on this post! You’ll feel my pain.