I saw a profile that proudly, and in caps, exclaimed, “SLIM NOW”. Congratulations on achieving your goal but divulging that on a site full of strangers is as risky as saying “hair plug surgery went well” or “completed my 12 steps”.
Personal struggles don’t belong on a public site. The people you’re addressing are strangers. They don’t know you and don’t care about you.
More importantly, you need to go online fully confident and proud of yourself – without apology. Being proud means saying “slim” versus “slim now”, as though there was something wrong with you previously. Doesn’t “slim” sound more positive?
Think of your dating profile as an ad. Have you ever heard a car company say, “Our brakes are working now so it’s a good time to buy”? Or “Our beef is no longer tainted so come on in and take out a burger”?
The reason why smart advertisers don’t point out past flaws is because it’s not a smart approach. The most successful way to attract a match is by going online and putting your best foot forward.
Besides, when you add a qualifier like “now” not only do you sound apologetic for what you were, it also implies there’s an end date. It’s almost like saying, “slim now” but I might be overweight later. Do you know how many dinner dates you could be discouraging with that one little “now”?
On the subject of weight, here’s another tip: don’t post before and after photos. When a stranger – that is, someone who doesn’t yet care about you – sees before and after pictures, chances are they aren’t going to send you a message saying “congratulations”. Instead, they’ll wonder if your struggle with weight means that the person they find attractive today, may not be the person they’ll be attracted to later.
All this may sound shallow but don’t be naïve. Success in online dating depends on initial attraction. That means you photos and your profile have to really promote your benefits and charm. Only after you become friends and develop substance does physical attraction begin to broaden into a physical and heartfelt attraction. So, until then, stay in the present and keep a positive spin on who you are – whether you’re overweight or not. Weight, hair loss and many of the physical concerns we all tend to have are not personality flaws. You need not apologize for them – ever.
