Online Dating Profiles. The Agony, Part 10.

Kanye + keyboard = oopsie

Once again I feature excerpts from some of the most conspicuous profiles that I’ve seen on dating sites this week. Once again, they leave me perplexed at what some people think are “sweet nothings”.

I don’t expect everyone to be a marketing expert. It’s taken me years to perfect my craft. But is it too much to ask that people be properly diagnosed and treated before they go online? In the wrong hands, a keyboard is a dangerous thing. Just read any of Kanye West’s blogs.

Rest assured that most people write profiles with thought and care. The following excerpts do not reflect the norm:

Ms. Sensitive brings up anger suspiciously often:

I am a sensi, which is a sensitive person, and have a talent for spiritual thought. I
rarely get angry, except when it comes to politics, religion and technology. I also
don’t like talking about offensive subjects. I’m looking for a man who is into astrology and spirituality and who doesn’t get mad about everything.

In his one-liner profile, this man sums up everything a woman wants to hear:

I play sports and like watching them on TV. If we’re a match, you can write me.

I don’t have heart to ruin his joke and tell him that it’s “bear” with me.

Looking for a woman. I will get into this later…so blah blah bla…this is a pain in butt!!! this is not easy to do…so please excuse tis babble for the time being…can’t really get into putting anything sensible down at this time…bare with me at this time…hmmmm…’bare with me’ has a put an idea into me now hehehe! better not go that way! lol! thank you ever so much!

Mr. Bare All (please note the proper spelling of “bare” in this case):

OK , I need to correct this . I had listed my age as 52 but I’m 62 –I really dislike BS so I’m not doing it anymore. Too much of that. Also, I work out regular but still have some weight to lose. The picture is a few years old but I’m getting there. I’m also 12 years sober so I see my stuff through.

Here’s a woman who’s full of good energy:

I had custody of my kids but they have recently moved to their dad’s to try something new. It’s all good. They just like his style I guess. I have a huge desire in me to leave drama alone, so please leave that somewhere else. CHEATERS NEED NOT EVEN TRY, BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS ALL ABOUT YOU AND WILL NEVER CHANGE.

Just to reiterate – most online dating profiles are not this outrageous. Nevertheless people tend to make a number of small but detrimental mistakes when they market themselves online. Anyone can benefit from having his or her online dating profile written by a professional, especially one trained in marketing…that’s me!

Check out the online dating samples of my work. Better still, go straight to the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but will help you uncover some of your unique traits, which is the first step in writing an online dating profile that’s remarkable (in a good way!).

If you like the blogs, then I think you’ll like the tweets. Would love to see you on Facebook too.