Online Dating Profiles. The Agony, Part 13.

The other day on the Daily Show, Jon Stewart showed a clip from one of Sarah Palin’s riveting speeches. Say what you will about her, but she’s an inspiration. The woman indefatigably uses her mouth despite overwhelming evidence that she should stop. Blithely she spouts and never, ever, lets good judgment get in the way.

Naturally, this brings to mind certain online dating profiles that I come across while scanning dating sites every day. Like our Sarah, some people filling out online dating profiles are not hindered by rational thought, discernment or wisdom. This will become very clear as you read, “Online Dating. The Agony Part 13”, which features excerpts from this week’s most outrageous profiles.

Thankfully, most people write dating profiles that are not nearly as notable as the ones featured here. So take heart knowing that these do not reflect the norm.

Mr. “I have no idea what I’m saying” says this:

I am not particularly handsome, I am no longer athletic or toned,I am not financially or emotionally secure. Actually I am not many things. What I am is a brutally honest,complicated hypocrite. I find keeping track of lies to be complicated. I am aggressively pacifistic contrary to my appearance. I can be a sarcastic, procrastinating ,couch potato, with a poor attitude [at times]. I can be condescending,and sometimes my self confidence can be misconstrued as arrogance. But I am always a nonconforming, contradiction of myself.

Ms “No Games” writes this:

No Pix! No Response!! So tired of the games people play. Don’t mistake my kindness for stupidity. Is there anyone normal, real on this site? I’m starting to wonder. The pix are actually me! They are recent! If you lie about your age, or your not sure if your married, separated or single, give me a break! Yes, have had this happen. Please do not contact me. I’m looking to meet a quality man who isn’t into playing games.

Ms “Not one picture posted” says this:

If you are not superficial then let’s meet. Don’t ask a person their height and weight and what their income is it’s a complete turn off and is shallow it doesn’t define who someone is they could be thin or heavy have a great job nice car the so called good looks and everything that could go with it and still be missing something in your eyes would it ever be enough. It may be what you would like or want them to be but let’s face we are all unique in our on way Looks and the nice body fade over time does that mean you stop loving the person people get old we all change I think it is what is inside that counts . So if this works then let’s meet and you can decide then.

Mr. “Way to sweettalk”, asks this on his “all caps” profile:

I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU WOMEN –WHY DO YOU JUST ABOUT ALL OF YOU SAY -THEY WANT A GUY WITH A HARLEY — IS THAT MENOPAUSAL OR FRUSTRATION or REGRESSION–IT MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE–WELL YOU KNOW.

Another man who knows the way to a woman’s heart:

Whatever you give a woman, she’ll make it greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll make a baby. Give her a house and she’ll make it a home. Give her groceries and she’ll make a meal. Give her even a bit of crap and she’ll make your life a living hell. Ya, you know who you are!!!

Let me reiterate: most people dating online write profiles that aren’t bad. However, to stand out, they need to be great, which is why my writing and marketing expertise can help. I’m trained to find out what makes you remarkable (in a good way!) and then – using words and anecdotes that I collect from all the questions I ask you – I write a profile that makes you stand out and get noticed.

Check out the online dating samples of my work. Better still, go straight to the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but will help you uncover some of your unique traits, which is the first step in writing an online dating profile that’s remarkable (in a good way!).

If you like the blogs, then I think you’ll like the tweets. Would love to see you on Facebook too.