Some people have “interview” dates where they meet and chat briefly over coffee before deciding whether or not to have “real” follow up date. Give me a break! How many people are great under that kind of pressure?
Unless you’re meeting a standup comic or Anthony Robbins (who, btw, is married), chances are most people – including yourself – won’t be able to come across dynamic, interesting, sincere, friendly, funny, hip, cool, different “in a good way”, sexy, sweet, affectionate, safe and whatever else is on your wish list – in 30 minutes or less.
I strongly believe you need to spend about 2 hours with your online date; hopefully doing something silly that distracts you both a little and breaks the ice. I played Scrabble with two online suitors and won the games. Needless to say, I was happy and, therefore, at my best (according to me!).
A date that’s about two hours or so gives you enough time to get over the initial awkwardness. It also gives you enough time to get through the dull, typical questions followed by the uninspired answers and the fake interest. Sometime within 2 hours or so, you get to the comfortable place where you start genuinely engaging.
Granted, if the person you meet is not attractive to you, no amount of time together is likely to make that person someone you’ll want to meet a second time around. So what then? You’ve planned a date that’s likely to last about two hours because you listened to some fool on a blog and here you are with someone who you know you won’t ever want to meet again because the chemistry’s not there. Well, this fool suggests you suck it up. I’ll blog more about that tomorrow and I’ll use more delicate phrasing I promise.
