Presumably wisdom comes with age. I guess I must be eternally youthful because no matter how old I get, I still don’t understand, and can’t explain, chemistry. I’ve been attracted to men who were not at all physically attractive and I’ve not been attracted to men who were good looking. Chemistry is inexplicable. As such, it’s also a great scapegoat for singles online dating.
If your online date wants a second date and you don’t, you can always minimize the awkwardness and potential insult by blaming your lack of attraction on chemistry – especially if it’s a topic you’ve discussed in advance. After all, most everyone knows chemistry is a mystery that goes beyond looks and personality. As such, you can set yourself up “pre-date” so that you can use chemistry as the fall guy just in case your online date doesn’t work out.
Here’s what I mean:
When you have your back and forth emails and begin to consider an actual meeting, be sure to bring up your thoughts on chemistry before the date takes place. Let your potential online suitor know that no matter how good looking and charming someone is, you’ve noticed that chemistry sometimes doesn’t happen. I can’t tell you exactly how to address it or word it, but I can tell you that’s it’s a topic worthy of discussion before you meet. So somehow bring it into conversation casually beforehand. That way, if the date isn’t love or lust at first sight, no one ends up feeling too rejected.
Again, treat the person with dignity and in the same way you’d want to be treated.
