I stay abreast of behavioral trends by regularly scanning dating sites and, specifically, reading online dating profiles. As a marketing expert and online dating profile writer, it’s essential that I not only see the evolution of dating behavior, but keep ahead of it too. The most powerful marketing is based on research and…oh who am I kidding?
I don’t do it because I’m driven by admirable professionalism. I do it because online dating profiles are to me what Honey Boo Boo is to over 3 million Americans – spellbinding. Don’t believe me? Then read on. The following italics are excerpts of arbitrary online dating profiles that I saw when scanning dating sites for, um, professional reasons (yes, I’m lying again). The intros are from yours truly.
Voila, the most recent installment of Online Dating Profiles, the Agony Part 26.
This man is a charlatan…there’s no such thing as snake oil!!!
That lies can feel so good and truths evoke such dread, we rebuke and deny the path to our highest incarnate and choose instead to loiter amongst the snake oil booths and charlatans, our souls heaving in agitated waves and the stagnated horde growing ever larger and increasingly intolerant of itself. Were we simply still lost in our intellectual darkness and searching for our way by the light of our hearts I could understand, but it is our hearts now that fail us in the light of knowing which way leads us out of this madness, and I fear we shall not survive the wickedness of our inaction much longer.
You guessed it – I’m a thesaurus.
I am intelligent, articulate, aware, and morally solid. I’m fit and athletic, adventurous and exciting. I am loving, kind, generous and good-natured. I chatty, animated, energetic and stimulating. I’m strong and feminine, smart and silly. Mature and responsible, fun and crazy.
She’s 56 so the fact that she’s still learning is good, no?
Me – Looking for the guy that can handle me – and not just in handcuffs, lol! I have recently learned that emotional compatibility is equally as important as physical!
Fine. I’ll give up on a Prince Charming in glass-like pants.
The faint of heart need not apply here. I, like everyone else, want to find that connection that we all dream of, but I simply cannot placate, nor reduce myself to fit within, the mundane stereotypes and detrimental limitations that many women deploy in their search. You cannot embrace the full breadth of possibilities if you believe that Prince Charming can show up in glass-like pants and Cinderella can show up in glass slippers. I bring what Disney never could: the real happily ever after.
Why can’t all matches be this cheerful?
I would first like to say thank you for the messages of condolensces. my step-daughter’s boyfriend was murdered a few months ago. She is slowly learning to live again. It hurts me to see her pain but he wasn’t good to her. Not that he deserved this. Now about me. Friends say I’m amazing, I don’t see that.. I try to do the right, but fall short on that. I try to stay in shape. I eat too much junk food so I have to walk…a lot. Life got in the way though so I haven’t been walking and need to get back to it.
On a final note
I write this blog in fun. However, if you’re serious about finding love, then do have a look at my online dating profile samples for examples of good online dating profile writing.
Better still, let me help you write your dating profile. I use marketing techniques to make your profile positive and persuasive. I also use your words and anecdotes so that the profile genuinely sounds like you.
If finding love is important to you, then increase your odds by hiring a professional. Start by completing the online personality quiz and then be sure to press submit.
5 Responses to Online Dating Profiles. The Agony, part 26.