Can’t figure out what to talk about in those first few emails. Here are some tips:
First, be sure to read the person’s dating profile. There should be some mutual interests that you can zero in like movies, music or activities.
Better still; look for the fun quirky aspects of your online love interest. Does he or she have unusual taste in music or food that you can ask about? What about you – do you have a silly quirk that your online suitor could relate to?
I’m a big one for leveraging quirks. They’re usually self-effacing, disarming and lot of fun.
Maybe you can ask your online date why he or she chose a specific user name. If someone puts numbers next to their name, ask them why.
Try to stick to open questions. For instance, instead of asking “do you like the beach”? Ask, “where’s your favorite place to vacation”? See the difference? One leaves the person with little to talk about whereas the other is open and gives the person reason to write back in detail.
Avoid conversations about previous relationships and bad childhoods. You’ll sound like a reality rehab candidate. Avoid questions about money and income.
Also, don’t send the person a questionnaire to fill out. That actually happened to me. I had exchanged a few emails with a guy who, before continuing on, wanted to see if I’d pass his questionnaire. It had every possible question from “do you do drugs” to “are you close to your family”. Needless to say, I blocked the nutter.
I used to do celebrity interviews and the biggest tip I can give you about asking questions is to really pay attention to the answers. It’s fine to have a list of questions for back up. But there’s nothing quite like paying attention to what someone tells you to make a conversation truly rewarding.
