Today’s blog is inspired by a disgruntled woman who ends up sounding like Jessica’s Daily Affirmations.
Excerpt from the dating profile of a 42-year old woman:
I am not into playing games. I don’t like guys (or their exes) who bring drama. I don’t like liars. I want someone honest and down to earth. I love baseball. I love nice dinners and dancing. I love movies. I love the beach. I like cruises and going somewhere warm. I like all types of music. I love my job. I love being around people. I also like quiet nights at home watching a good movie or reading a book.
My critique:
She starts off sounding disgruntled. The whole caveat about no games, drama or liars tells me that she’s had a sorry history with men. More importantly, by expecting liars and game players to honor her wishes (since when guys like that honorable!), she doesn’t take responsibility for the choices she’s likely made in the past. This, of course, means that she risks repeating them.
Her opener screams “victim” and that concerns me.
That aside, she also says “I love this and that” too much. It’s not interesting at all and even seems thrown out rather than well-crafted. Instead, she should pick a few key interests and bring them to life with a few anecdotes.
A final note about writing your online dating profile.
Most people find it hard to describe themselves. It’s even more difficult when you need to do so in a competitive atmosphere where you can lose a person’s interest in the first few lines.
So the biggest tip I can give you is this: let me write your online dating profile in a way that you’ll feel good about. I use all your words and anecdotes so that it’s in your “voice” and true to you. I also add solid marketing techniques and good writing so that it makes you stand out.
Check out my online dating profile samples and see for yourself. Better yet, get started by completing the personality questionnaire and then submit your answers to me. You’ll be amazed at what I can do with them.
