I write ads. I write dating profiles. I also write LinkedIn profiles. As such, I follow sites like thegrindstone.com, which offers solid advice to working women.
The other day, it featured an interesting article discussing the wisdom of including a passion for your career on your dating profile.
My advice was quoted, as was expert advice of others. Here are some of their insights:
For men, attraction does not come from watching a woman succeed.
Include the industry you work in but avoid terms like ‘executive’ or ‘I run/oversee/manage. They make you seem unapproachable.
And my favorite:
If her profile is filled with career stuff… her dreams as to what she wants to achieve professionally, it won’t be attractive to a man with masculine energy.
It’s true. It takes a gay man to love a passionate, ambitious woman.
All to say that, as detrimental as this advice is to my gender, it’s also insulting to men. In fact, men are increasingly treated like idiots with the kind of mind-numbing advice they’re given in articles, as well as by how they’re depicted in sitcoms (I hated Raymond) and advertising.
So, in heartfelt sympathy to those men who don’t like being addressed with the same intellectual expectation one might show toward…oh, let’s say…Jim Belushi, this blog’s for you (that’s me doing a tremendously clever “this Bud’s for you” reference…I’m such a dude!).
Advice about women for hapless men which, presumably, you all are.
Make eye contact, already!
An enlightening article on wikihow – yes, I did say wikihow – gives men tips on how to talk to women.
For starters, it suggests eye contact and getting within walking distance.
This is the kind of high level thinking that men obviously need. After all, don’t most guys automatically talk to women from a distance and without looking at them?
Seriously – one of my pet peeves.
Mean girls. Dumb guys. Stupid media.
I found a great article by Patrick Wanis discussing men in the media. About advertisers, he says, “The intention is to appeal to women and to create a sense of female empowerment associated with the product – in the hope that women will then buy the product’.”
He then explains how misguided this thinking is given that, “Female empowerment is not about feeling superior to men, openly insulting men, degrading, belittling men, or playing into the old stereotypes of men. To create such commercials only serves to insult and belittle women by implying that a woman’s power comes from her competition with and comparison to a man.”
Wow. His understanding of female empowerment may not be exuding that masculine energy mentioned in thegrindstone article and yet, miraculously, my female hormones are tickled.
Balls with chains.
I scanned a number of ads that depicted men in a negative way. Many treated men as morons, while female counterparts were solid, competent and long-suffering.
For the record, a solid, competent woman is not likely to tolerate an infantile twit.
Another overriding theme was to present men as frightened and oppressed.
Way to insult both genders, as is clear with this milk ad and this spot for Dodge Charger.
For a regular guy’s opinion of male-bashing in the media, you might want to read this article on askmen.com. The ads featured are outdated, which goes to show how chronic this has been.
Mad Women.
Online dating profiles are ads and, as such, the same principles apply. Don’t diss the opposite sex or make insulting generalizations. Here’s what not to do:
I’m looking for a guy – and by that I mean a man. If you care too much about your clothes and hair and your tinted designer sunglasses then you’re not a man, you’re gay. You know it even if your friends don’t. I also don’t want a guy with pervy piercings or tats ‘cause that’s like a big car… overcompensating!
Instead, approach the opposite sex in a positive and respectful way. If you’re going to make fun of anyone – don’t taking yourself too seriously. Being playful is disarming (especially important among strangers).
Happy Woman
As an online dating profile writer with years of experience as a copywriter and marketing expert, I’d be happy to write your personal ad for you so that no mistakes (even inadvertent ones) are made. See the difference ad writing makes – check out my samples of online dating profiles and LinkedIn profiles.
Better still, get started by completing the online personality quiz. It’s the first step to a great online dating profile. The second is to hire me. Also, if you like what you’ve read, then please join me on Twitter and Facebook page.
