Online Dating and LinkedIn Profile Writing Advice
I regularly critique excerpts from random dating and LinkedIn profiles (for anonymity). By pointing out dos and don'ts from actual profiles, you too can look at your own with a critical eye and improve on your personal branding.
Confessions of online dating profiles.
A few years ago, when I still believed that Facebook statuses were innocent and pure, I accepted friend request from an acquaintance with an inner Tila Tequila. My news feeds thereafter were never the same. Her statuses blared with such gems as: “After a session like that, I wish I smoked. Wink, wink. Oh wait a minute. I was smoking.” I don’t know what traumatized me more, the puns or the visuals of her having hot sex. Like some… read more →
Here it is, the most popular online dating profile ever!
Bet you didn’t know that “Happy Birthday to you” has a copyright value of $5 million US. Given that statistic, I have to figure there’s a really rich, really happy eccentric out there who’s collecting millions from the following profile. It’s high in popularity but low in distinctiveness: Looking for my soulmate, are you out there? (That headline alone must be worth millions in royalties and is second only to “life is short”). I luv life (as opposed to… read more →
Online dating and saying thank you.
You’re online dating. There are millions of choices out there yet somehow, among them, someone sees you. They send an email. It’s friendly. It’s classy. It sounds crafted to you instead of being generic. What do you do? If you’re interested, you write back. If you’re not interested, and you’re like most people, you move it to the trash. Lovely behavior. You must be so proud. Ironically, I bet you probably think there are a lot of jerks out there,… read more →
Kate Houston on NPR’s Marketplace.
Why would NPR’s Marketplace be interested in online dating? Because it’s all about marketing yourself. Kate Houston talks about how ad techniques are what you need to stand out and compete online. Please note: prices and levels of service have changed since this broadcast. http://www.onlineprofilewriter.com/wp-content/uploads/Marketplace-Morning-Report-04_50-for-November-23-2010.mp3
This is your brain. This is your brain on online dating sites.
I’ve had a frown line on my forehead ever since high school chemistry class. Even after discovering truancy and my friend, Betty Gormley’s talent at writing fake absentee notes from my “parents”, that frown line never dissipated. However, since becoming on online dating profile writer, I swear it’s deepened considerably. Now that I scan online dating sites all the time, I no longer wonder about the chemistry of atoms. Instead, I wonder about the brain chemistry of singles dating online.… read more →
Why “everlasting” should not apply to your dating profile.
Some things go on forever. A wail by Mariah Carey is a good example; as is a wail by anyone passing a kidney stone. Besides that, Elvis and Jim Morrison, never die. For that matter, neither does Keith Richards even though he’s long overdue. And, if you’ve ever been forced to attend midnight mass with your family at St. Augustine’s Parish in Montreal on December 25, 1978, you’d know better than anyone that certain things go on forever no matter… read more →
Online dating and cuckoos.
Remember when Kathy Bates went from being a caring sweetie to a crazy lady who then enslaved and tortured James Caan in blind obsession? She was awesome! Remember when Edward Norton went from being a sweet, soft-spoken victim to a cool, manipulative sociopath without a pulse or a conscience? I loved him. And who could possibly have expected mild-mannered Kevin Spacey in Usual Suspects to be a criminal mastermind? I love plot twists and nutty characters in movies. On online… read more →
Online dating and critical thinking.
One of my friends was concerned about online dating because she heard you could meet a lot of creeps on dating sites. I asked her if she had ever met creeps in a bar. She said she had. I asked her if she had ever met creeps at parties. She said yes. I asked her if she had ever met creeps at weddings. Guess what? She had. The point is you can meet creeps anywhere. Online dating sites don’t have… read more →
Online dating and the meaning of fun.
Ever see a dog’s head tilt in bewilderment as you talk to it? I find myself doing that when I read the words “I like to have fun” in a dating profile. It’s perplexing in the way that fanny packs are considered dorky, but cycling jerseys with pockets at the back aren’t. I never had a Sylvan Centre tutor but, as far as I know, implicit in the meaning of fun is pleasure, isn’t it? Nobody has fun and dislikes… read more →
Best online dating device since the block button? Spell check!
Have you ever tried conversing with someone whose soul patch is slightly off center? That person may be as witty as David Sedaris and as profound as Maya Angelou but it’s the patch, not the titillating conversation, that keeps your attention. Spelling mistakes and typos on your online dating profile are just as distracting. They drive me crazy in the same way that a wee bit of chalk left over on a improperly erased blackboard drives me crazy (grade school… read more →
