Boomers and online dating. Grow up!

Snooki rockin' it!

Some things are predictable. For instance, it’s predictable that any celebrity who does the rocker hand gesture, especially on both hands, will eventually get a DUI, make gay slurs and end up in rehab. It’s also predictable that, for every Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz, there will also be a Dr. Drew Pinsky to turn pain into self-serving sensationalism.

Also predictable are: Sarah Palin and her little bus will go down in history, but she’ll know nothing  about it; the world map will be revised to accommodate the small country being formed by Brangelina; and Arnie will be back.

Nevertheless, more predictable than all these prophecies is this simple one: singles 50+,  and dating online, will continue to discriminate against others their own age.

It’s true. Boomers boomer-bash based on age. It’s the strangest phenomenon. I used to have a boss who wore his hair long, his shoes pointy and his belt buckles studded. Though clearly a middle-aged man stuck in the 80’s, he would make “old” jokes about his co-workers. Granted he was a delusional narcissist (not just the domain of celebrities!), but he was also typical for his age.

I had a friend once say that he didn’t like a particular bar because it was filled with old guys. When I said, “Really? How old?”  “My age”, he said.  Though he defied logic, he nonetheless displayed an attitude common to his age group.

I just stopped writing and went online to a popular dating site. I looked at 20 profiles of men over 50 years old in about 5 cities. Nearly all of them were interested in women two to ten years younger. Only four had included women older than themselves in their search criteria, yet – by no more than two years.

I also checked to see if any of these men wanted children, which could perhaps explain the age discrepancy but only two did.

Women were no better.  I checked 20 of their profiles and found that the only difference between their search criteria and those of their male counterparts was that theirs included men up to four years older.  After all, the Material Girl herself is evolving into another Hugh Hefner.

In addition, claims of being “young at heart”, “youthful” and, my favorite, “not typical for my age” were as rampant as “yo” in a rapper’s vernacular.

“Even people in top shape need to recognize they’re not kids anymore”, says Dr. John Morley, chief of geriatrics at St. Louis University School of Medicine, “you cannot be at 50 what you were at 30.”

If boomers were to put a stop to their prejudices, not only would it open their options, it would open their hearts and minds to people with whom they could truly relate. There are more significant life transitions in the fifties and sixties than any other phase of life. Why not go through them with someone who’s right there alongside you sharing the same sense of freedom, joy and challenges associated to this stage of life?

Real intimacy comes from friendship, respect and shared experience.

So, rather than go online with a profile filled with defensive assertions about your youth and veiled apologies about your age, go online and compete for the attention of someone who’ll appreciate everything about you from your love of classic rock to your stiff joints.

For help with writing your profile, get started by uncovering some of your unique traits using the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but it’s an important first step in writing an online dating profile that stands out.

Once you’ve completed the quiz, select some of the most interesting answers and incorporate into your dating profile. Better still, hire me to do it. I’m trained to know what to pick and where to put it.

Feel free to check out the online dating samples of my work, as well. If you like the blogs, then you’ll like the tweets. Would also love to see you on Facebook.