Online Dating Advice
I regularly review excerpts from random dating profiles (for anonymity). Pointing out dos and don’ts from real profiles can help you improve on your own personal branding.
This is your brain. This is your brain on online dating sites.
I’ve had a frown line on my forehead ever since high school chemistry class. Even after discovering truancy and my friend, Betty Gormley’s talent at writing fake absentee notes from my “parents”, that frown line never dissipated. However, since becoming on online dating profile writer, I swear it’s deepened considerably. Now that I scan online dating sites all the time, I no longer wonder about the chemistry of atoms. Instead, I wonder about the brain chemistry of singles dating online.… read more →
Why “everlasting” should not apply to your dating profile.
Some things go on forever. A wail by Mariah Carey is a good example; as is a wail by anyone passing a kidney stone. Besides that, Elvis and Jim Morrison, never die. For that matter, neither does Keith Richards even though he’s long overdue. And, if you’ve ever been forced to attend midnight mass with your family at St. Augustine’s Parish in Montreal on December 25, 1978, you’d know better than anyone that certain things go on forever no matter… read more →
Online dating and cuckoos.
Remember when Kathy Bates went from being a caring sweetie to a crazy lady who then enslaved and tortured James Caan in blind obsession? She was awesome! Remember when Edward Norton went from being a sweet, soft-spoken victim to a cool, manipulative sociopath without a pulse or a conscience? I loved him. And who could possibly have expected mild-mannered Kevin Spacey in Usual Suspects to be a criminal mastermind? I love plot twists and nutty characters in movies. On online… read more →
Online dating and critical thinking.
One of my friends was concerned about online dating because she heard you could meet a lot of creeps on dating sites. I asked her if she had ever met creeps in a bar. She said she had. I asked her if she had ever met creeps at parties. She said yes. I asked her if she had ever met creeps at weddings. Guess what? She had. The point is you can meet creeps anywhere. Online dating sites don’t have… read more →
Online dating and the meaning of fun.
Ever see a dog’s head tilt in bewilderment as you talk to it? I find myself doing that when I read the words “I like to have fun” in a dating profile. It’s perplexing in the way that fanny packs are considered dorky, but cycling jerseys with pockets at the back aren’t. I never had a Sylvan Centre tutor but, as far as I know, implicit in the meaning of fun is pleasure, isn’t it? Nobody has fun and dislikes… read more →
Best online dating device since the block button? Spell check!
Have you ever tried conversing with someone whose soul patch is slightly off center? That person may be as witty as David Sedaris and as profound as Maya Angelou but it’s the patch, not the titillating conversation, that keeps your attention. Spelling mistakes and typos on your online dating profile are just as distracting. They drive me crazy in the same way that a wee bit of chalk left over on a improperly erased blackboard drives me crazy (grade school… read more →
The evidence is in: singles dating online love life.
I’m feeling unusually warm and fuzzy today. I was on match.com and read several dating profiles that said “I love life”, one even said “More importantly, I love life.” The emphasis was inspired. I then visited Plenty of Fish and saw several more dating profiles with the same sentiment. Not to be outdone, one man said “I absolutely love life.” Wow, that’s love for sure. According to the July 2010 edition of Lonely Planet, one of the happiest places on… read more →
Why some online dating profiles are a little like plastic surgery.
Breast implants and some online dating profiles have a lot in common. Both can look happy and bouncy. Both can get your attention. Both can be impossible to ignore. Yet, upon closer inspection, there’s nothing in them that’s real. The big difference is that most people won’t reject you over plastic surgery (unless you’re that horrifying cat lady, Jocelyn Wildenstein, or Carrot Top, or Mickey Rourke.) Point is, while an embellished profile might initially arouse the interest of potential suitors,… read more →
Dating profiles that “prefer not to say”: about as fair as William Shatner getting work.
The first time I truly grasped the meaning of, “life’s not fair” was when I was 12 years old. That was the day I was told I probably wouldn’t grow any taller, and that my chest would not probably not get any bigger than that of my Aunt – the one known for her personality. Since then I’ve come up against much injustice. Carrying one teeny item over to the presumably “fast” self-serve area of a grocery store only to… read more →
Online dating profiles and spidey senses.
There are some things in life that we know never to trust. For instance, with the exception of cheerleaders, everyone knows not to trust an outhouse in the middle of a forest in the middle of the night. Obviously serial killers – not to mention slugs (gross) – will be lurking there. Everyone also knows not to trust a country song that starts out happy. It’s just stringing you along for that tragic moment when someone leaves, dies, cheats or… read more →
