Online Dating Advice
I regularly review excerpts from random dating profiles (for anonymity). Pointing out dos and don’ts from real profiles can help you improve on your own personal branding.
Is your online dating profile kind of like birth control?
I read a few dating profiles of single, straight women on a dating site today and decided that I could, quite possibly, put a fork to my eye. Ladies, for the record, the number one most effective form of birth control is a profile of deep emotions that culminates with verses by Rumi. A lot of the women’s dating profiles read like Harlequin novels – you know those books that are all the rage among men (yes, I’m being facetious… read more →
Online dating profiles that say I have an unnatural attachment to my Harley.
When I was 2 years old, I dropped a pair of glasses into a sewer to see if they could float. That they couldn’t infuriated my mother and puzzled me. This was the first in a long history of confusion. For instance, I’m bewildered by the popularity of Kate plus Eight. I wouldn’t even grasp the popularity of Brad Pitt plus Eight (or 100…oh come on, we all know that’s where it’s going). Certain Black Eyed Peas lyrics are baffling… read more →
Online dating and looking for a man who looks good in your clothes?
When I was little, a pigeon walked right out in front of my Mom. I blurted, “Wow pigeons are brave!” My Mom retorted, “They aren’t brave Kate; they’re dumb.” Upon scanning some dating profiles on one of the mainstream dating sites, I was reminded once again of the difference between brave and dumb. I was reading dating profiles found in the long-term relationship section of the site, not the intimate encounters section. Yet, I came across the profile of a… read more →
Dating profiles and headlines that make me go ick.
Though I believe that every online dating profile should be written in a way that’s as brilliantly deliberate and as emotionally manipulative as an ad (though in advertising we use the euphemism “strategic”), I’m not convinced that the headline has as much importance. People tend to look at the photos then go straight to reading profiles. A headine is usually inconsequential unless it’s especially good or bad. My concern is with the bad ones. I scanned three sites today: Match.com,… read more →
I’m a “god” guy and other reasons to spell check your dating profile.
I’ve been known to forget many things. In fact, my sister is convinced that I’ve had ridiculously early Alzheimer’s since I was six years old when I forgot to turn off the bath water and it ended up flooding her bedroom. Nevertheless, despite my memory lapses, there are just some things you never forget. For instance, I never seem to forget the words to Delta Dawn (what’s that flower you have on, could it be a faded rose…) I also… read more →
Writing your dating profile? There’s no such thing as a “young” 50 unless you’re next to a 90 year old.
I once had to rent an apartment sight unseen. The landlady said “Don’t worry. It’s charming”. When I arrived I realized that her “charming” was my “teeny”. People use objectionable adjectives all the time. To get me to go swimming, my Mom used to say the lake water was “refreshing” rather than “so cold you’ll beg hell to take you early” . I’ve also heard big boned instead of fat; tipsy instead of drunk; and creative instead of bipolar. I’ve… read more →
Dating profile pictures that make me go “oh come on!”
When Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin named their child, Apple. I thought, “Oh come on.” When Madonna kissed Britney, I cringed and said, “Oh come on.” When a friend showed me a Youtube video of Bush dancing with an African band, I spat out the tea I was sipping and laughing like a lunatic, said, “Oh come on” followed by “oh gross, sorry”. The tea sort of landed on his computer screen, but anyway… Recently I visited Match.com, PlentyofFish and… read more →
Can you spot the celebrities dating online?
I was on Match.com the other day and saw Elizabeth Hurley online. How exciting and, truth be told, how surprising. For one, I thought she was married and yet there she was looking for long term. Second, I happen to know that the picture she posted was at least 8 years old (not to mention a bit blurry), which is a little bit deceptive, let’s face it. Nevertheless I was pretty giddy. I mean, Elizabeth Hurley was online dating! I… read more →
Is there a high mortality rate among singles dating online?
I’ve seen so many online dating profiles claiming, “life is short” that I’m beginning to think I just might be able to max out my credit cards and get away with it. That upside aside, do online daters have some freakishly high mortality rate that I didn’t know about? For the record, I know about a half a dozen people in their 90’s who would disagree with life being short. I suggest not using that claim on your online dating… read more →
Can 50 year old abs dating online compete with 20 year old abs dating online?
I was roller-blading the other day with a girlfriend of mine when a young hot gorgeous male in his 30’s skated by without a shirt on. She and I both nearly tripped over ourselves and yanked our necks out of place as we watched, fixated, while he sped off. I don’t care what anyone says but that moment was better than chocolate. A little later a very fit and handsome middle-aged man sped by on his inline skates. My friend… read more →
