As a copywriter and online dating profile writer, I write a dating blog that helps single men and women attract their soulmate. Actually, that’s not true. “Dating, single men, single women and soulmate” are key words that help me with Google rankings, which matters when marketing an online dating profile writing service like mine (see, there I go with key words again).
In fact, this blog is for men and women, married or not. After all, everyone can use good information and a laugh. So here goes:
For the longest time, I found William Shatner mesmerizing. To be clear, I mean mesmerizing in that “Wow, does he seriously take himself seriously?” kind of way. Though I had a good run ridiculing Limbaugh, no one’s awkward narcissism has ever really captivated me quite like our former Captain Kirk’s did. Then came Geraldo – a man more entertaining than all the Super Marios combined.
Though his “G” may be silent, mercifully nothing else about him is. Bless him and his big mouth.
In a recent broadcast from Afghanistan where Geraldo managed to secure an exclusive interview with a Taliban spokesman, he used the privilege to call the spokesperson a jerkoff. Not to be outdone by his own pissing contest, he then asked the spokesperson how it feels to get his ass kicked. If anyone knows asses, it would be Geraldo. He’s probably familiar with the term “jerkoff” too.
I’ve learned a lot from Geraldo of late – mostly, what not to say. As such, this blog explores various forms of communication so that we can get our message with care.
Advice for men on how to stop a fight before it starts.
This article from askmen.com offers several tips on how to prevent squabbles with your main squeeze.
Interestingly, one of the suggestions is to “avoid name-calling”. This is probably a wise tactic in preventing tiffs with the Taliban too.
There’s one point that I take issue with: it says women tend to let things simmer. That chaps my Geraldo and, apparently, it will for a very very long time.
Advice to women: 6 things never to say to a guy.
Cosmopolitan, that model of superior journalism, reports that one of the worst things you can say to a man is “You’re so much better than all the other jerks I’ve dated. “
Thank you Cosmo for that breakthrough insight and for spending three paragraphs on explaining why this is a no-no. We women have to have it all carefully explained. If there was a way you could help us read it slowly, that would be so awesome.
By the way, according to its media kit, Cosmopolitan’s readers are about 30 years old, make approximately $60,000 a year and, for the most part, have all had higher educations.
How not to communicate on your online dating profile
I scan online dating profiles all the time. I often excuse this behavior by saying it’s part of my job but, in fact, it isn’t. I read countless online dating profiles simply because I know I’m going to find some so outrageous that they’re like Jersey Shore, Rush Limbaugh and the Kardashians all rolled into one big ball and then doused in Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson. On that note, here’s a very expressive one worth sharing.
Apparently, she’s “shy” at first:
Hello to every one. well to start I don’t want a man with a lot of body hair. I DONT WANNA FEEL LIKE I AM SLEEPING NEXT TO A RUG !! LOL , Also want a man that doesnt have any small kids, I would be afraid of getting too attached to them ya know. NO, I am not a B#Tch and dont like to be called one. BY the way , I am shy at first, but then I warm up QUICKLY. YA PROBABLE THINK I HAVE LOST MY MIND IF YOU GOT THIS FAR. HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU.
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This is a wrenching ad with a simple message powerfully delivered. The mark of a good ad is simplicity. Ads that don’t say too much are easier to retain and, as such, more memorable.
The same principle applies to online dating profiles. Rather than go on about endless interests, keep your life, your interests and your goals to a manageable limit for the reader.
The point of an online dating profile – as with any ad – is to pique a person’s interest so that he or she seeks more information. Don’t write it as though it’s a biography. Instead, craft it as though it’s an exciting preview. Better still, let me. It’s what I’m trained to do.
Check out my samples of online dating profilesand LinkedIn profiles, and see for yourself. Or, simply get started with the personality quiz. It’s the first step to a great online dating profile. The second is to hire me. Also, if you like what you’ve read, then please join me on Twitter and Facebook page.
