Online dating success for boomers.
To every boomer out there, let me say this: don’t trade your dignity for a cell phone self-portrait of your half-naked upper body.
Look carefully through your progressive lenses and note that, while your abs may be tight, your skin isn’t.
That’s because you aren’t 20. You aren’t 30. You’re not even 40.
For the record, if you’re 70 then you’re also not 50 – and that’s okay.
When Geraldo tweeted a half-naked selfie along with the words “50 is the new 70”, all it showed was that he has trouble with math and self-perception. Yet, in fairness to him (I cannot believe I just said that), it seems that a lot boomers – male and female – suffer these same afflictions.
I scan dating sites all the time and I’m floored by how many middle aged singles show off their bodies and pass themselves off as younger and better looking than their peers.
Not typical for your age? I’m not so sure.
For starters, the “I’m not typical for my age” line is tired. Too many people over 40, let alone over 50, say it. In addition, though likely rooted it in insecurity, it sounds conceited. When dating online, confidence is key, arrogance isn’t.
It also comes across as oddly immature. Endless lists of favorite activities from beach volleyball to ultimate Frisbee often accompany these profiles. Rarely do they show the substance and worldliness one might seek in an older single. Activities and fitness are important, but they needn’t be all-important.
Everything about these profiles seems designed to make the person sound young. Not surprisingly, their age settings are usually for matches 10 – 20 years younger.
Can your 50-year old abs compete with a 30-year old’s?
It never seems to occur to these “young” boomers that, while they may look great for their age, matches that are 20 years younger are also being hit on by suitors of their own age. So ask yourself, do your 50-year old abs compare to your competition’s 30-year old abs?
I had a conversation recently with a 54-year old man who felt that a perfect match for him would be between 35 years old and 42. He wouldn’t dream of choosing a woman his age, let alone one less than 12 years younger. He said he gets along with younger people and, therefore, wanted someone “like-minded”.
That young people get along with you doesn’t mean that they want to date you. In addition, older people are likely to have more in common with people who have the same political, cultural and lifestyle references.
I’m not suggesting that boomers should pick people their age. I am suggesting that they act their age. Go after whomever you want, but don’t try to be something you’re not – and that’s young. Also, don’t confuse age with youthfulness. You may well find your perfect match in another boomer who, like you, is fit and dynamic.
Oh, and by the way, here’s a blog I wrote awhile back that gives more insight on boomers online dating – and it’s not grouchy like today’s blog!
A final note about writing your online dating profile
One of the biggest mistakes singles make when online dating is that they get caught up in the superficiality of it. Instead, be true to yourself and be open to the real beauty of others. Write your online dating profile accordingly too or, better yet, hire me to do it.
As both a writer and marketing expert, I know how to ask the kind of questions that will uncover your anecdotes, interests, expressions and even fun quirks. I then put it together into one concise and engaging profile.
Have a look at my online dating profile samples and see for yourself. Or, just get started by completing the personality questionnaire and pressing submit. You’ll be amazed by what I can do with your answers.
