I keep a book in my office. It’s a soft cover, so it’s not very expensive. It’s designed with bright primary colors, so it’s not especially refined. It’s also about 25 years, so it’s not in the best of shape.
Nevertheless, it’s one of the most life-changing books I’ve ever read. It’s called “See You at the Top” and it’s written by my hero, Zig Ziglar, who died last week at the age of 86. Zig was an author, a motivational speaker and the consummate salesman.
What does Zig have to do with online dating? To me, everything. Zig Ziglar helped people develop a positive self-image. “See You at the Top” is filled with anecdotes (another technique I value) that help people change negative self-perceptions into wonderful ones. When online dating, as with any aspect of your life, believing in your worth is essential.
Here are three Zig Ziglar wisdoms that can help singles dating online:
Never compare your worst features to someone else’s best.
Zig shared the story of a charwoman who found herself on welfare at 38 years old. Eventually, she read a book that helped her take stock of her qualities. She realized that – though she wasn’t as beautiful as the women she compared herself too – she did have a gift for making people laugh.
By the time she died at 95 years old, the former charwoman – Phyllis Diller – was known as a legendary comedian.
The message behind this anecdote stayed with me forever. Of all his messages this is the one that changed my life. To this day, I try to be fair to myself, and others. I confess I’m not always successful. Zig’s death reminds me to try harder.
Dress up and feel better.
It sounds superficial. Yet, when you take the time to care for your presentation, your self-confidence improves as a result. This is true for both men and women. Nevertheless, when I scan online dating sites, I’m constantly surprised by how men are in baseball caps on their dating photos and how many women are in jeans and runners.
I think it’s important to post photos of yourself doing activities you enjoy, but they need to be balanced with some online dating photos that actually show you dressed with care.
For more information, read what your online dating photo says about you.
Accept yourself.
This is easier said than done, of course. Thankfully, Zig’s books provide all kinds of tips to achieve it.
In the case of online dating this wisdom truly resonates. Here’s why:
I had one client say, “Can you make me sound manly in my profile, a bit of a bad boy?” I had another client say, “Can you make me sound funny?” I had another client worry that he was too geeky because he loved comics.
In all cases, these clients wanted me to make them sound like someone else. But, in the words of Zig Ziglar, you will make a lousy “anybody else”, but you’re the best “you” in existence.
I asked each of these clients – what would be the point of trying to find someone who fell in love with the person they were pretending to be, when they could use their energies to find someone who fell in love with them.
What saddens me most when I hear concerns of this nature is that – what these clients are embarrassed of – are not character flaws, they’re simply character traits. There’s nothing wrong with not being rugged or funny, nor is there anything wrong with enjoying the creativity of comics.
I stay true to this principle when I write online dating profiles by the way. I also use a client’s interests, anecdotes and words so that I create a true representation of them.
A final note about Zig Ziglar
As I read this blog, I realize that it’s really just that – a blog. It doesn’t have the substance deserving of Zig Ziglar, but I did want to share a bit about him.
When I was a teenager, schools weren’t set up for “creative” types. I didn’t do well in the structure and I nearly failed high school. I assumed I wasn’t intelligent. I was also shy and, as such, not one of the popular girls. I interpreted this to mean that I wasn’t at all attractive.
I began “See You at the Top” with insecurities. I completed it with strategies that eventually changed my life.
Zig didn’t have the flash or good looks of Tony Robbins. Nor did he have quite the reach of Dale Carnegie. He also didn’t have a simple, singular idea of what it meant to be successful. His idea had less to do with dollars and more to do with character. I doubt he’d have had the reverence for Steve Jobs that others do.
Zig was also God-fearing and he shared some of the more conservative views of his time. Still, “See You at the Top” is good for the soul and I highly recommend it.
A final note about my services
For examples on how to write a great online dating profile, be sure to check out my samples of online dating profiles.
In addition, if finding love is important to you, I suggest that you invest in one of my services. I’m both an ad writer and an online dating profile writer (feel free to read my bio). As such, much like my hero, I use marketing techniques to make you stand out. In addition to writing dating profiles in a positive and persuasive way, I also take great care to ensure that they are an honest reflection of you.
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