Oh sure, you try finding a better pic.
When I was online dating, I saw the profile of a really good-looking man. Good news – we shared countless interests! He liked to cycle, rollerblade, swim, hike, ski, kayak and, generally, play outside. So did I – what a match (did I mention he was good-looking?). There was just one teeny hitch. He made it very clear – and I mean in no uncertain terms – that he played outside day and night, dusk until dawn, 365 days a year. I play a couple of hours at a time. In addition, the thought of waking up early to do something more strenuous than sipping tea is more exhausting to me than trying to figure out why Ice T loves Coco.
Still…he was good-looking. I pondered that fact – a lot – as well as fact that, within 120 minutes of being out with me, he’d know I was one hangnail away from being a couch potato. In the end, I didn’t contact him (which, by the way, was as heartbreaking as watching a child watch you as you eat an ice cream cone – seriously, he was mouth-wateringly good-looking).
Nevertheless, I knew I’d be setting myself up for failure. He’d know from my profile, that I wasn’t feral, which brings me to the point of this blog: pick appropriately. If it’s really clear that someone is not a match, don’t bother. You’re setting yourself up for failure and – even if you know that’s what you’re doing – what you may not know is how hard that can be on your self-esteem over time. Even if you expect rejection, it’s not healthy to set yourself up for it time and time again.
I’m not suggesting that you don’t take chances. I’m saying don’t bother with those people who make it clear from their profiles that you’re not in the ballpark. Online dating can be depersonalizing and difficult on one’s confidence. So, not only do you need to go online feeling good about your photos and your profile, you also need to pick matches that you feel will appreciate you and will make a positive contribution to your life (and to your inbox).
For online dating profile help, check out my online dating profile samples for inspiration. Better still, get started by going straight to the free personality quiz. It costs nothing to do and yet it can help you uncover great anecdotes to add to your profile. Better yet, hire me to do it all for you. I’ll know what anecdotes to pick and where to put them for maximum impact. As an ad writer and marketing expert with over 20 years experience, it’s what I’m trained to do.
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