I found an online dating profile today on okCupid. I’ve selected it because it has an opener that has been poorly thought out and needs to be addressed.
By featuring excerpts as I do and then offering suggestions on how they could be improved, I hope to make it easier for you to see mistakes that you too might be making when writing your online dating profile.
From the profile of a 32-year old woman.
I work a lot. So I don’t get to date a lot, lol. But I’m always searching for balance as I have done a lot of wonderful things in my life (traveling around the world, “almost famous” experiences, and I love to have fun. What’s next? Well, less work and more fun hopefully with a good partner.
My critique.
Despite the “lol” there’s really nothing fun about someone who’s life revolves around her work. The exception would be if she talked passionately about what she does. But she doesn’t. In addition, she talks about having done wonderful things without actually expanding on them. “Almost famous” experiences could be interesting to share yet she’s not doing that.
Though you need to keep profiles fairly concise, they nonetheless have to be dense with information that engages the reader. In her case, maybe there’s a good reason why she works all the time and perhaps that reason is worth sharing. Traveling the world is also very compelling – where has she gone, what are the most memorable moments?
When I read through the entire profile, I can honestly say that she sounds like a well-balanced and warm person who probably has lead a fuller life than just sitting at a desk. She really needs to leverage her experiences more and market herself better.
Online dating profiles and marketing yourself.
I’m an ad writer, as well as an online dating profile writer. That means I know all the marketing techniques to make your profile both engaging and persuasive. Better yet, because I ask a lot of questions – and the right questions – I use your answers and expressions to do it. That way you go online dating with an honest profile.
Check out my online dating samples and see for yourself. Better yet, get started by completing the personality questionnaire.
