Online dating and dumb things men do.

Chris doing air guitar.

Sometimes, in their endless attempt to fit into modern society, men do dumb things. They try to fix a woman’s problems rather than nod their heads, make eye contact, and act as though they’re paying attention. They start renovation projects when there’s nothing to renovate, or they try to put together the DVD unit (usually after dismantling it out of curiosity). They also learn to play guitar because they think it’ll make them look cool, thus never considering how it will make them sound. Or worse, they play air guitar.

A lot of them also sign up on online dating sites only to assert on their dating profiles that they don’t like endless emails. That’s like ordering moussaka then saying you don’t like meat. In online dating, emails are a main ingredient.

By sounding cranky (not to mention boorish and inflexible) about emailing, you impose conditions on yourself and potential suitors.

It also shows a disregard for the process, as well as for the countless members who deliberately use – and like – the process. Consider why emails are actually quite important:

Emails provide opportunities to 1) break the ice 2) establish a rapport so that you’ll have conversational references when you meet 3) allow time to determine if the other person has obvious red flags prior to chemistry getting in the way of good judgment.

Jumping straight to a meet and greet can set you up for failure even if you like each other’s looks. After all, no matter how good looking you might find each other, if the conversation is stilted or cliché, looks won’t be enough to get you a second date.

My suggestion is to play it by ear. Contact a woman, exchange a few emails – for some reason, there are articles out there saying “three” is the magic number – it’s not. Send a few so that the initial “stilted” talk is eliminated and the energy builds – then see if she’s open to meeting. Also, when you ask if she’s ready, make it clear that it’s okay if she isn’t. Don’t come across as impatient, domineering, needy and/or disrespectful of her boundaries. Given the potential risks, women tend to be more reluctant than men. Appreciate their wisdom, rather than be impatient by it.

Like this advice? Here’s another: Get me to write your emails. I edit and revise them, and make sure there are no huge mistakes. In addition, when you hire me – a professional a writer and marketing expert – to write your online dating profile, I make sure it has topics that can be used as ice breakers. These make follow up emails go more smoothly.

Women, this is not to suggest that you have no room for improvement. I’ll be picking on you at the beginning of next week.

In the meantime, check out my online dating profile samples. Or, go straight to the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do even though it’s an important first step to a great dating profile. If you like the blogs, then you’ll like the tweets. Would also love to see you onFacebook.