Online dating and looking for a man who looks good in your clothes?

When I was little, a pigeon walked right out in front of my Mom. I blurted, “Wow pigeons are brave!” My Mom retorted, “They aren’t brave Kate; they’re dumb.” Upon scanning some dating profiles on one of the mainstream dating sites, I was reminded once again of the difference between brave and dumb.

I was reading dating profiles found in the long-term relationship section of the site, not the intimate encounters section. Yet, I came across the profile of a man who let us all know that he loves lingerie on a woman. I thought the disclosure was too socially forward and, therefore, dumb.

I then read the profile of a man who let us all know that he loves lingerie on himself. I thought that was brave. Though he kept his outfit conservative, even his profile picture showed him dressed as a woman.

This man had the courage to publicize what is usually a very private preference. He made the revelation because he didn’t want to disappoint a love interest down the road. He also didn’t want to set himself up for rejection. It was a brave step that showed consideration for others. It also demonstrated a realistic understanding of social “norms”.

Check out any dating site like Match.com or Lavalife, and you’ll find plenty of dating profiles that blithely disclose more personal information than anything out of Snooki’s thickly-glossed lips. Some of it is dumb and shows no understanding of even the most casual social convention.

Still, some if it is really brave.

I once came upon the profile of Herpes Man. He was a man with herpes who briefly and skillfully explained the disease, then made clear he was looking for women similarly afflicted.

That was brave.

I also read the dating profile of a woman who said she was wearing a wig because she had Alopecia – a medical condition that causes hair loss.

That too was brave.

Online dating puts you in a position of having to reveal. However, you need to be mindful of the message you’re putting out there. Are you showing dignity or social ineptitude?

Also, while disclosures can be commendable, don’t forget to move onto to other aspects of your personality. The objective of your online dating profile is to promote yourself.

Personally, I think everyone should hire a professional ad writer (me) to write his or her online dating profile. This is especially true when it comes to knowing what to reveal and what not to reveal. After all, ad writers are trained to put a positive spin on just about any kind of information.

For more tips on how to write a great online dating profile, check out the samples of great online dating profiles (sorry for being redundant but “key words” help with search engine optimization. Or, go straight to the fun free personality quiz. It will help you uncover some of the unique traits that you need to highlight so that you stand out.