A recently divorced friend of mine began online dating. The second her photos were approved she received emails from two men.
One said “Wow” in the subject line, followed by “I like your photo, want to chat?” in the body copy. The other one said, “Love your photo” in the subject line, followed by “Write me back” in the body copy.
My friend is in her mid-40s, as were these two men. She’s a high-level executive, as were these two men. She’s also well-traveled, enjoys the outdoors and dining out – exactly like these two men.
Yet, despite having many avenues from which real dialogue could ensue, these two men chose to show absolutely no civility whatsoever.
They made no reference to the dating profile she worked so hard to craft (she’s a writer too). They focused entirely on her looks (without having the finesse to, at least, say something more flattering like “you have a nice smile”).
They then typed out the online equivalent of a Neanderthal grunt and pressed send.
Generally speaking, single women outnumber single men across North America. As such, men should be able to find eligible women very easily. Yet, countless single men are dating online and having a tough time of it.
Which begs the question: why?
My guess is that men sit alone behind their computers and forget that they’re entering a competitive environment that requires them to turn on all the charm.
My advice to men dating online.
Treat a woman dating online the same way you would if you met her at a party. No man over the age of 16 should say “hey you’re cute, let’s chat”. Ever.
Rather, you read her profile and craft your email by bonding over one or two shared interests. Better yet, read her profile carefully enough to figure out what topics are of greatest interest to her. If she likes hiking but loves skiing, then try to bond over skiing.
In other words, show that you’re intrigued by her and not just by her looks. In addition, give her a reason to write back and conversationally pick up on where you left off. Don’t just say “let’s talk”. Give her something to talk about.
Even better online dating advice.
Hire me to write your profile and critique your first few emails. At the very least, hire me to critique your emails before you send them (I do 15 minute consultations and can cover a few in that time). They are as critical to online dating success as your photos and online dating profile.
Have a look at my online dating services. You have everything to gain by hiring me including gaining an advantage over your competition.
