According to recent news reports, and by news I (admittedly) mean TMZ, Ashton Kutcher gave a surprisingly thoughtful and intelligent speech at the Teen Choice Awards.
It even impressed Rush Limbaugh who usually just likes to listen to himself speak.
It’s easy to misjudge the acumen of someone whose professional highlights can be summed up by “Dude, where’s my car” and “Punked”. In fact, it’s quite common to …um…
…by the way, is anyone else disturbed by the thought of Rush watching the Teen Choice Awards?
Anyway, it’s natural to evaluate a person’s intelligence or potential for stimulating conversation based on their profession. In fact, we categorize and stereotype people all the time. For better or worse, this helps our brain process information efficiently.
Whatever the value, and however snap our judgments may be as a result, we can pause and take the time to reevaluate our perceptions. I suggest you do this when online dating.
One profession might be more interesting than another one, but that doesn’t guarantee that the person will be as interesting.
When I was much younger, a friend of mine worked in film. Through him, I ended up playing baseball all summer with a group of actors who were in town for a movie. One of the actors was newly single and we went out on a few dates – but no more than that – and I was the one to end it. Though he had traveled all over the world, ate in the finest restaurants and saw the best of all shows, he was a bore. Honestly, he had no idea how to engage or connect.
It was an eye opener for me. It was also a defining moment.
Now, as someone who scans random dating profiles on a regular basis, I’m struck by how applicable that lesson is to singles evaluating each other online. For instance, I read the dating profile of a doctor the other day. Despite the fact that he’s a white collar professional he was uncouth enough to suggest that he didn’t need “little blue pills” to satisfy women. In fact, his entire dating profile had an arrogance and contrived humility that made him so unappealing.
Yet, just two online dating profiles away from his – was that of a bus driver. In contrast, this man sounded smart, articulate and filled with great stories. He was attractive on so many levels.
Another mistake we make is associating higher income levels to certain professions too. I know a psychologist who nearly lost everything in the economic downturn because he overextended himself so badly. Meanwhile, I have a friend who makes untold amounts of money by selling products on eBay. However, her “real” job is as a cashier and she does it simply because she finds it social and uplifting.
I’m not suggesting that you should avoid white-collar professionals (or actors, for that matter – although there is one I’d certainly avoid!). I’m simply suggesting – as I always do when it comes to online dating – that you be open to the possibilities. After all, what have you to lose by making contact with someone who doesn’t quite fit your ideal? It’s just a few emails. You’re not forced to meet!
A final note about your online dating profile.
I’ve learned that every single person is more interesting than they imagine – no matter what their station in life. All it takes is a little marketing savvy to make it come out. That’s where I come in. If you’re not sure how to bring out the best in yourself, then let me. Check out my online dating profile samples and see how I do it.
Or, get started with the personality questionnaire. It seems like gimmick but it’s actually very helpful at uncovering the anecdotes, expressions and even the quirks that make each of us so interesting. Don’t forget to send your answers to me!
