The other day while walking along a busy street, a woman yelled to her friend a few feet away, “I have to pee. I’ll be right back.”
I don’t have an issue with people urinating. I do it frequently myself.
However, I do take issue with people announcing their intentions so publicly and to so many strangers (I’m also not a fan of the word “pee” for anyone over 13 years old, but so be it).
Later that day as I bent over to pet Oliver, a neighborhood pit bull, I turned to the owner and said, “how are you?” “Itchy”, she replied, then lamented that she thought she was getting a yeast infection – again.
Flabbergasted, all I could blurt out was, “uh, oh, sorry” before giving Oliver a final pat and hurrying off to the safety of home.
But the day was not over and neither were the indiscreet admissions. That night, I made the mistake of going online and scanning dating sites. Dear God.
There was the man who posted a photo of his infected foot. There was a woman who discussed the concern she had about her daughter’s prison sentence. There was the other woman who – inexplicably – said she prefers condoms to abortions. And finally, there was the guy who posted a photo of himself drying off after a shower so that women would know what they’d get (a middle-aged man with all the propriety of a two-year old boy).
I regularly read random online dating profiles. What I notice time and again is that people don’t know how much and how little to reveal. Some barely say anything personal, relying instead on point form lists or incomplete sentences. Others use the opportunity to discuss everything from bodily functions to deep dark secrets.
If you’re having difficulty knowing what’s appropriate then remember two things:
1) keep your profile at about 250 words and 2) you’re talking to strangers.
Let me make that last point even clearer:
Before you decide to discuss your c-section, your weight loss program, the monthly pain you go through getting your back hair waxed, the fact that your ex-wife had sex with you on the night she asked for a divorce, or the fact that you get wicked nosebleeds – keep in mind that the people reading your profile are not your family, friends or therapists. They are – not one – but hundreds, if not thousands, of people you’ve never met before. Communicate accordingly.
Geech.
On a final note
It’s unlikely that you’ll create a online dating profile that’s outrageously inappropriate. Most people don’t. Nevertheless, chances are you’ll create one that isn’t nearly as intriguing as it could be. Most people do.
So let me craft your profile. As an ad writer and marketing expert, I know how to get the most interesting information from you. I also know how to craft it in a way that’s engaging from start to finish yet sounds genuinely like you. Trust me – everyone is more interesting than they realize.
Check out my online dating profile samples and see for yourself. Better yet, get started by filling out the personality questionnaire. It’s the first step in uncovering the anecdotes, interests and even the expressions that make you unique.
