People say words hurt. Certainly this was true during an incident many years ago when my words had near-fatal consequences (for me).
It happened on dark and stormy night in a deep, deserted forest. Okay, actually, that’s not true. It was a bright, sunny summer day and I was on a rooftop catching rays with three other woman, but still – drama and danger lurked as surely as it would have had I been a nubile cheerleader using an outhouse in the woods (slasher movies can’t be all fiction, can they?) For the sake of the story, it’s important that you appreciate the rising tension.
So…
I was on a roof tanning with three women. One was going on and on about all the bad men she’s dated. The other two kept nodding in empathy. With every nod of their heads, a new thought would form in mine. The sequence went as follows “But, I know plenty of nice men… I have a lot male friends…My male relatives are great. My male colleagues are super…besides, no one’s forcing her to accept a date from them, in fact…”
That’s when it happened, my thoughts suddenly became the words: “If you keep meeting bad men then you’re the problem, not them.”
Here’s where the tension began…
Immediately, all three women turned to me with angry glares. The one who had been lamenting stood up, walked toward me saying, “WTF does that mean?” Mercifully, one of them – a woman who had been a friend for years – put her arm up and said “Oh that’s just Kate, ignore her. She likes men”. The rooftop tanning ended. The danger had passed. I made it home safely.
Still, my point was a good one.
If you keep having bad relationships, then you’re the one with the problem and that problem is how you choose. Actually, the problem probably goes deeper than that, but as a marketing expert the psychology of your problem, is not my problem.
My concern is that when you write, “tired of the games” or “tired of drama” – besides sounding like Debbie or Donnie Downer – it’s clear that you attract games and drama. As such, rather than reflecting poorly on all the game-players and drama addicts out there (according to you), it reflects poorly on you.
In addition, you don’t sound like someone who takes responsibility for his or her choices. Instead, you sound like some poor victim forced into bad relationships.
My advice is – don’t play the “poor me” card. Instead fill out your profile in a positive way that promotes your best qualities and not a victim mentality. On that note, let me craft your online dating profile. I’m trained to write a dating profile that puts your best qualities forward while, at the same time, weeding out people who aren’t a good match.
See for yourself. Check out the online dating samples of my work. Better still, go straight to the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but will help you uncover some of your unique traits, which is the first step in writing an online dating profile that’s remarkable (in a good way!). If you like the blogs, then you’ll like the tweets. I’d also love to see you on facebook.
