Online dating profiles, the Agony Part 1.

I once worked for someone who, for some unintelligible reason, decided that a picture of a 1950’s clown on a print ad for 20-year old adrenaline junkies would be funny. It wasn’t. It made no sense at all. The only thing funny was how bad the ad was.

This same person was also pretty pleased with himself for coming up with an ad that made reference to the TV show “Twin Peaks” even though the ad was designed for people who had been toddlers when that once-hip show ran. Note that I said, “once-hip”.

Not to be outdone by his own incomprehensible conceit, I was told that he once suggested “PEDALphilia” for a safety ad about children on bicycles.

I kid you not.

Everyone in advertising has stories about bad ads. Whether those bad ads are ones of our own, or ones conceived by a boss with an ego the size of Angelina’s lips, they’re usually pretty funny.

The same is true of poorly crafted online dating profiles. I scan dating sites all the time and come across some that are worth sharing. As such, at the end of every week, I’ll give you excerpts of the most notable ones so we can all share the pleasure. It will be a happy end of week moment much in the same way that Friday at 5 pm is.

So, here it is, the first installment of “Online dating profiles. The agony, part 1”.

An ironic lament by Ms Oklahoma:

Apparently, people don’t read profiles. I’m not interested in “intimate encounters” or “friends with benefits”. If you don’t read my profile then don’t message me.

Ms Funny wrote this, whatever it is:

Alot say they arnt into drama…pffft sorry life has drama if u have kids and nosey family and crazy ass friends but don’t worry I’m on mental pills! Hey, I just starred at an orange juice box for 20 minutes…… because it said……concentrate! lol

From clker.com

This woman is a teacher. Note the spelling.

I am a confidant independant preschool teecher by day and student by night.

Ms Don’t Be A Douche Bag wrote:

I’m very laid back. I do not get upset easily but I don’t want a**holes who want sex! Just because you take me out, doesn’t mean I put out. No drinkers or druggies either. I hate you.

An interesting opener from Ms Loving and Loyal

I’m way over my ex. So done with him and my kids are with him so I’m free and nothins stopping me now!

Now for my plug:

Most people don’t have such enormously bad profiles. In fact, most write about themselves quite legibly. However, few people know how to market themselves. That’s where I come in. As a professional ad writer and online dating profile writer, I can write an online dating profile that’s smart, engaging and makes you stand out.

Check out my online dating profile samples. Or, go straight to the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do even though it’s an important first step to a great dating profile.