A not so sweet bunny.
It’s Easter, the time of year when people fill their tummies with sweetness and joy. Well, most people. In some parts of the world – specifically dating sites – some people prefer a more sour approach. Truth be told, as one who tends to be sweet (my blog, my choice of adjectives), I find the more sour, the more fascinating.
So, on that note, I bring you the 16th installment of “Online Dating Profiles. The Agony” where I feature excerpts from this week’s most outlandish online dating profiles.
As always, I need to preface the following by reassuring you that most people dating online are lovely. They may not be right for you, but there’s nothing wrong with them.
Here are this week’s exceptions:
I can’t imagine anything being recreational with this woman:
My persona precedes me. My aura per se does not allow me to blend I stand out, no matter my facade. Love me or hate me there seems to be no in between. People feel me before they see me, therefore judge me before they know me. it’s quite unfortunate. And this picture is not worth a thousand words,so don’t judge the cover look inside flip the pages. Well balls in your court. Oh and I’m not particularly into recreational sex anymore.
Glad she clarifies that she likes to smile and laugh:
ARE YOU SIX FEET OR TALLER? DO NOT CONTACT ME. ARE YOU CAUCASIAN?…IF NOT, DO NOT CONTACT ME. IF YOU ARE MARRIED, DO NOT CONTACT ME. MOVE ON. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS. IF YOU ARE SEPARATED, COME BACK WHEN YOU ARE DIVORCED. IF YOU ARE WIDOWED, I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, BUT MOVE ON. I DO NOT CARE FOR MOTORCYCLES OR MASSIVE TATOOS.ARE YOU GOOD LOOKING?? DO YOU HAVE REFERENCES. OK, LET’S GET TO THIS: I LIKE TO SMILE AND LAUGH AND ENJOY LIFE.
Ms. “soooo you don’t want a one night stand?”:
So ok here it goes again…Sex then what? Everyone wants to have sex and one night of satisfaction. After that you are still going home alone and sleeping alone and doing what ever with the next person you kind find. I understand people are lonely but when it comes to taking the time to meet someone and get intimate it makes sex much better and even more accessible. I WANT SO MUCH MORE THEN THAT….
More of a speech than a profile:
I had many profiles with photos before but got tired of mail sent too me only because of my looks. My face won’t last long anyway. Love isn’t about loving the perfect person it’s about loving the IN PERFECT person PERFECTLY. There has to be more than just physical attraction. I believe that is why there are a lot of lonely people on this site in my opinion. BE MORE CONCERNED WITH YOUR CHARACTER THAN YOUR REPUTATION …..BECAUSE YOUR CHARACTER IS WHAT YOU REALLY ARE,.. WHILE YOUR REPUTATION IS MERELY WHAT OTHERS THINK YOU ARE………………
Ummm…glad he left his baggage at a bus station:
IF YOU DONT LIKE DOGS –STAY AWAY – MY DOGS NAME IS –BABE — AND THATS WHAT SHE IS — I TELL HER A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY –I LOVE HER — CAN YOI IMAGINE HOW SHALLOW AND PETTY SOME WOMEN ON HERE ARE –THIS STATEMENT ABOUT MY DOG –BOTHERS THEM. IF YOUR AN ANGRY PERSON –I CANT HELP –AND DONT WANT TO AND IF YOU WANT BREAK-FAST IN BED –SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN -I HAVE NO YESTERDAY STORIES OR TEARS –I LEFT MY BAGGAGE AT A BUS STATION — AND NEVER WENT BACK FOR IT.
Again, these excerpts are outrageous and don’t reflect the norm. Nevertheless most of people – no matter how balanced and articulate – don’t know how to market themselves. There’s a big difference between writing and marketing. For an online dating profile to be successful, it needs to do both well. That’s where my expertise comes in. As both a writer and marketing expert I can make your online dating profile stand out and get noticed for all the right reasons.
Still not sure? Then check out the online dating samples of my work.
Better still, get started on uncovering some of your unique traits by completing the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but it’s an important first step in writing an online dating profile that’s remarkable (in a good way!).
If you like the blogs, then I think you’ll like the tweets. Would love to see you on Facebook too.
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