Online dating profiles. The Agony Part 2.

It’s the end of the week. Time for me to share the “hurts so good” moments I’ve had over the past 7 days while scanning online dating profiles. Bear in mind that these dating profiles do not reflect the average person, and are most likely suggestive of inbreeding.

BFF wrote:

IS THEIR ANY GOOD GUYS LEFT?? WHY IS ALL GUYS ON HERE JUST LOOKING FOR A PIECE OF ASS???Im looking for a guy that knows how to treat a lady.

Ironic excerpt from College Educated:

I’m an educated, professional and I’m looking to meet freinds (first but then relationship maybe later) for intelligant conversation and good times.

From Classy guy:

So I was in the shower this last night, having a martini while washing my hair, and I thought “wouldn’t it be great if I had a girl to do this for me?” I mean wash my hair, not drink the martini… I can do that myself.

Ms Classy Lady (wearing a bra and jeans) wrote:

Well for all those closed minded people get a life, we all are not a bunch of nuns or Barbie. I am serious in what i am looking for in a search for the right person. I am honest,caring, faithful. I not looking for friend’s with benefits thing or a bootycall.

Mr. Honest and Faithful said:

Woman wanted! The kind who can blend into a social situation with the purpose of helping her guy be The Guy other women want and dream of.

Real Deal lamented:

Back for another kick at the cat. Would luv to meet a real woman on here but what I remember about this silly lil site is, well most were lookin for a free ride, free nite out, free dinner, free coffee’s an very plastic personalities.

Mr. Real Deal then added the following update at the end of his dating profile:

OK, NEWZ FLASH!!! NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED…[I luv sex as much as the next guy, maybe more]…BUT I AM NOT HERE TO GET LAID, OR HOOK UP WITH MY GRAMMA!!!(Dont get me wrong I loved my gramma) AND IF I WUZ IT WOULDNT B WITH THOSE WHO AR EMAILIN ME!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY!! HOLA PHUK MAN (pardon my english) BUT JEEZ LOUISE!!!

See why my dating blogs are about as sweet as a Denis Leary monologue? Can I be blamed for being as grumpy as Andy Rooney? If you too feel my pain, and enjoy it, please press like; make a comment; and/or follow me on twitter.

On a final note, though most singles dating online have fairly unremarkable dating profiles, unremarkable is nevertheless not good enough. To get noticed (for the right reasons!), you need to have your online dating profile written by a professional online dating profile writer and marketing expert. Yes, me!

Check out the online dating samples of my work. Better still, go straight to the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but will help you uncover some of your unique traits, which is the first step in writing a great online dating profile.