If you’ve ever seen Sir Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs, you’d know that crazy people can be really really funny – on a movie screen – or, in the case of online dating, on a computer screen. With that in mind, I bring you the next and long-overdue, installment of the Agony series.
Here I feature excerpts from the craziest online dating profiles I’ve come across while scanning dating sites. Please take heart – I scan countless of dating profiles. The profiles featured here do not reflect the norm. Hence, there’s no reason to be discouraged by online dating. It’s actually a great way to meet good people.
Generally, the only remarkable aspect of dating profiles is that they’re unremarkable and could be improved with my marketing expertise. So much for the plug. Now, get your buttered popcorn and large Coke, and enjoy the guilty pleasure of madness:
I like how he commits.
You been a bad girl, go to my room! Sorry I’m not in too BBW I’m more of a SSW ( Smaller Sexy Women ) kinda guy. Keeping a women’s mind satisfied is always the best challenge !! the rest could be easy 🙂 Looking for that special one ( slim thin NOT over weight ) I have (not been serious) but would change for the right women in my life !! My Hobby if I had one would be YOU , trying to find new ways to keep you Smiling 😀 This is not pored in concrete, things could change for the right person ( long term, short term What ever, the amount of time and person will determent that !!~) Oh and BTW for those that requires a pic. and don’t have one them self WTF !!!
Good to know that she “loves to laugh”.
Thinking about taking a break from this site, seems MOST of the guys on here are teen age boys with hard on’s trapped in an older mans body looking for free A S S. if a woman wont put out on a first date there is no second date. look guys we are getting older and i understand that but that should be all the more reason to treat a lady like a lady and not a piece of meat hanging on a hook in the meat market. if we click and there is something there then in time something may happen but not on the first date.if you would like to chat great but get to know me please before you get to know the color of my panties if there are any. This is me, faithful, caring, fun, romantic, love to laugh and really looking for the samething in a guy.
Downtown reference followed by “mushy stuff”- ew:
I am social, pleasant and fun. I love kissing and being close. I have studied tantric sexuality and will go to great length to bring the Goddess in you out. But sex without the relationship is like French fries without salt!!! I’m good at going downtown. Beside all the mushy stuff, I am a self employed and have a house. When I do find my angel, I will delete this profile
I’m so confused that I can’t even comment.
Ultimately, I am seeking a deep spiritual connection – Grandfather’s perspective is amazing. If you love TV, and believe talking heads, pass me by. I’m looking for someone with “bird sense”. Enlightened, aware, a Sheople…
I like taboo subjects – “thought crime”. Keeping watch on puppet masters and puppets that carry out disturbing planetary plans. It’s amazing how much I enjoy life with all the crap I see these idiots creating.
I was born far from home, now everything is just encounters on my way home…and really, there is no *direction* home. Every path leads me to the source.
It’s becoming increasingly clear that I’m looking for Black Sheep (rather wolves though) and Misfits. You know who you are. Your DNA is unusual. Join me on the Black Pearl?
Oh good, she likes guns.
Update: I have read many profiles looking for the “perfect” chic…no health issues, no drama..REALLY??? Get real!!! I have Crohns. So there, suck on that!!!!. I am one of the least judgemental people you will meet…that being said, if you have lezbian (especially!!!!!) or homo guys in your family or your friends that’s unChristian. I will not accept them unless they go to the Lord for help. Gross. Finally,..I love to hunt and fish…4 wheelers.. but, I am also girlie…I keep my nails done and like shopping. Now given the choice between shopping and hunting, hunting will win everytime. Another update: It may show I am online, but 9/10 im not. Please contact me but stop with childish emails. I hate haters!!!!!
Hope you enjoyed these profiles. To make sure yours gets noticed – for the right reasons – hire me to help you. With my writing experience and marketing expertise, I’m trained to find out what makes you stand out. Then, using words and anecdotes that I collect from all the questions I ask you (and I ask a lot!), I write a profile that makes you stand out in the most positive way.
Check out the online dating samples of my work. Better still, go straight to the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but will help you uncover some of your unique traits, which is the first step in writing an online dating profile that makes you get notice for all the right reasons.
If you like the blogs, then you’ll like the tweets. I’d also love to see you on facebook.
