Online Dating Profiles. The Agony, Part 5.

Happy times with Linda Blair.

Once again, this blog features a few rather remarkable online dating profiles. This week, I also – once again – noticed a lot of angry online daters. Why someone thinks a rant will land a good date, I have no idea. But then I’m puzzled by many things, like why faces don’t get goose bumps.

As you read these excerpts, please keep in mind that most people write their dating profiles with an honest effort and they’re not bad. They just don’t stand out, which is why I suggest hiring me – a marketing expert and ad writer to craft your dating profile.

So, here they are, enjoy!

Here’s an engaging post that someone sent to me:

I will not post my picture. If you won’t take a chance and are the kind of person who can’t trust that a stranger might be what they say are, then spare me your insufferably dull ultimately idiotic acquaintance. I also will not post what my race is since it seems one gets winked at by a certain kind of guy when I do. However if you must have a colour, paint a deep orangy brown hue on the drawn profile image (that I removed) and imagine me as unconventional.

Mr. Ready to Date has this to say about where he’s at:

My ideal match needs to be serious about her relationship with the Lord and enjoy church. Also, if you can’t understand why a guy wants to watch the Super Bowl or their favorite college football team play their arch rival then we need to just stop here. I tried to make something work where I had to change completely who I am and it failed. I won’t do it. I keep changing and I keep getting stuck with people who don’t like me anyway.

From Mr. A Dating Site is a Good Place to vent:

I love Conan… the WORST guests were those 3 stupid Kardashian ****es! It makes me weep that 9,000,000 idiots follow their tweets. OK got that out! What I like: the occasional tattoo on a woman (especially a tramp stamp), however if it is visible or you have more than a couple…maybe therapy is needed? Also, I’m not anti God but don’t expect me to attend Sunday mass with you. Side note: I once posted a false profile with a picture of Ricky Martin. I was astounded at how many women sent e-mails ..Many were women I’d email under my real profile and never hear back from!!! What I’m not HOT enough! Don’t get me wrong; I can be a very nice , loving, caring man. This is a good place to vent is all.

You’ll note that “Learned My Lesson Now” says “girls” in plural:

Been burned by Russian Girls am now looking for a local woman that does not play head games. When i come home from work she is there to comfort me, have sex and a total commitment to me. PS I do some drugs so it’s okay if you do.

Thanks for reading the blog and for all your emails. I appreciate your contributions and kind words. Just to reiterate – most people write profiles that aren’t bad. Their only challenge is the fact that they don’t know how to promote themselves. As a marketing expert and professional profile writer, I love to help with that!

Check out the online dating samples of my work. Better still, go straight to the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but will help you uncover some of your unique traits, which is the first step in writing an online dating profile that’s remarkable (in a good way!).

If you like the blogs, then I think you’ll like the tweets.

Would love to see you on Facebook too.