Online dating profiles. The Agony, Part 8.

Don

Looking at online dating profiles this week I realized that there’s one thing about Sarah Palin that has my complete support and that is: “Book of Collected Wisdom of Sarah Palin”. The book is blank. As I post this 8th installment of “Online Dating. The Agony” I can’t help but think that some people need to stop themselves from publicly posting their dating profiles. Clearly the following profiles have been written without grasping the fact that a dating site is an environment where you’re supposed to be engaging.

Most profiles are a little boring and that alone means that they could use my help. However, when I see profiles like these, I wonder if I’ve been put on this earth because I have a purpose or because I did something very very wrong in a previous life.

Mr. Way to Raise the Bar says this:

I have no ex-wives, no children, no debt, no mortgage, no student loans, no alimony and I don’t want yours. I like beer and computers. I don’t like airport security (“Hey pal, there’s no bomb up there…ooh, that usually costs me dinner and a movie!”) and psychobabble. Looking for someone who has a car and doesn’t live in it.

Mr. Full of Exclamation Marks says this:

im looking for a woman! im not a weirdo! or a horn dog looking for just a one night stand!!!i am happily divorced now for over four years!! i HATE drama and just stupid people that are bums!! i dont want to be rude or mean but dont waste my time with sad stories!!! we all have them!!!! I can tell you a lot of mine, I was married to a – well, just pardon my language!!!!!

Mr. Upbeat (yes, I’m being facetious) says this:

tired of head games, tired of being alone, tired of selfish people.. tired of people thinking it’s too cold or too hot out… that’s all a myth….enjoy life.. don’t sit behind a computer screen and let it dictate whom you want to meet and whom you don’t. i’m a very intelligent good looking guy (I don’t have a picture but I am good looking you’ll see) not looking for wedding vows …hell life is too short for bullsh*t and head games. no drama here

Here’s another ray of sunshine that I found online:

2/23/2011 well being on here again and I have gotten the same thing I always have I can see things havent changed any on here. It is a shame that games have to be played on here but I guess thats the way it is now. I am 44 yrs young and I’m a very positive person who always sees the positive side except on here ‘cause there’s nothing good about this site or the people. Games, games.

Ms. Unreasonably giddy wrote the following:

OMG lol!!! I’m here. Wheee! Okay so I’m happy…got that already! Guess so lol! I’m confident. A man and woman should be in a partnership, not a competition! NO interest in narcissists* *(narcissistic: characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, persistent need for admiration…) I’m very interesting. I’m independent but I’ll go into your man cave dude!!! Don’t try to keep me out lol! I want to click with someone but then I like photography (get it “click”…lol, I even like bad jokes!)

On a nearly final note, a friend of mine sent a dating profile that he wrote for fun. It gave me a laugh so I thought I’d share it:

Atheist looking for the ultimate distraction from the great void and inescapable death
Preferably in the form of a hedonist who loves sex, great food and a good laugh.

On a final note, your online dating profile is marketing opportunity. Use it to put a positive spin on yourself. At the very least, think before you post. Most people dating online are normal, well-intentioned people who simply don’t know how to present themselves in any remarkable way (which is why my writing and marketing expertise can help).

Check out the online dating samples of my work. Better still, go straight to the personality quiz. It costs nothing to do, but will help you uncover some of your unique traits, which is the first step in writing an online dating profile that’s remarkable (in a good way!). If you like the blogs, then I think you’ll like the tweets. Would also love to see you on Facebook too.