Online dating profiles: tips from Taylor Swift’s head.

A lot of people make fun of Taylor Swift. Amy Poehler and Tina Fey implied she was boy-hungry at the 2013 Golden Globes.

Conversely, Chelsea Handler poked (so to speak) fun at her presumed virginity. Personally, if I were a 23-year old woman making $57 million a year, these meanies could screw themselves.

That said, the other day I saw a video of Swift headbanging while wearing a lavender swing dress. I admit, it was mesmerizing, but I was still appalled. Headbanging in lavender is bad enough, but in a swing dress too? Oh Taylor, not so swift.

The good news is that I turned my trauma into a blog about appropriate attire, specifically on online dating profiles.

The following online dating profile photo “don’ts” are based on actual sightings spotted on dating sites.

Don’t post online dating photos of:

1) you in a bathtub, even if it is in a pretty bubble bath.

2) you in a Speedo thong especially if you’re in your 80’s

3) you all dressed up, but at your mother’s funeral. Adding the caption “see I dress up good” does not make this better (and watch your grammar!)

4) you in a bath towel

5) you standing in the bathroom wearing a winter jacket

While I’m at it, here are a few other don’t’s that have nothing to do with attire, or lack of, but are pertinent nonetheless.

Don’t post online dating photos of:

1) your infected foot

2) your pot roast, chicken stew or roasted pig on a spit

3) you groping another woman

4) you kissing an iguana

5) you kissing a Hooter’s waitress

6) you kissing yourself in the bathroom mirror

7) you passed out on a picnic table

8) your tooth in tissue paper

9) you and what appears to be a lover walking hand in hand on the beach with the caption “still on good terms with my ex”

10) you sleeping

On a final note

The biggest mistake most people make when it comes to writing their online dating profiles is that they don’t stand out. As an ad writer and marketing expert, I have the skill and experience to make sure you do – and in a good way. Better still, I use your words, expressions and anecdotes so that you go online with a dating profile that’s honest.

Check out my online dating profile samples and see for yourself. Or, get started with personality questionnaire then send your answers to me. You’ll be amazed at what I can do with them.