Great image from therecruiterslounge.com
The other day, an acquaintance asked if I could critique the online dating profile he wrote because, for some reason, it was attracting older women.
This man is in his mid-50’s so it’s understandable that he’d attract other boomers. However, he’s good looking and in shape so I was surprised that he’d actually attract women who were old enough to be unappealing to him.
When I probed further, I was floored to discover that his idea of older women was actually women who were just two years his senior. Thankfully the discussion we had was over the phone because my mouth truly was agape.
Sometimes people choose younger partners because they aren’t looking for an equal partner. Sometimes it’s insecurity – an ageism based on the fear of getting older and not wanting to face it by looking lovingly into the eyes of someone equally as wrinkled. However, as more and more boomers maintain good health and physiques, I believe choosing a younger partner often comes down to vanity. Somehow this kind of person feels they aren’t typical for their age and, as such, would be better off with a younger partner. That is – a youthful, physically more desirable person like they think they are themselves.
Give me a break.
When I was online dating, I always looked at a man’s search criteria. If he chose women 15 years younger than him (as my acquaintance did), it would be an obvious red flag to me. Another red flag, however less obvious, was if his criteria stopped short of his own age. It made me question what kind of value he put on women. After all, could a few years older really make a woman less worthy?
Interestingly, I saw a blog today that addresses this very subject. The blog is actually an addendum to a previously written blog about red flags. In this write up, the author points specifically to men whose criteria indicate a preference for younger mates (and, in my experience, that’s most often the case).
It was validating to read her take on the subject because I used to wonder if I was being oversensitive. Yet, this woman is much younger than me and she has the same perspective.
Anyway, here’s the blog. I found it on “Feministe”. There are other good blogs on the site too so enjoy!
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