I remember trying to complete a product ad for a client who directed absolutely every detail of it. She wanted the color green replaced by red. She wanted a bolder font and a larger logo. She even began asking if she could replace certain words with other, very similar words. I finally suggested that she buy a thesaurus and revise the ad herself.
I learned two things from this experience:
1) When you get fired, the jeans you really really really wanted become inaccessible.
2) That sometimes people focus on details rather than the goal.
In my ex-client’s case, she wanted her ad to get noticed in a newspaper filled with other ads. She thought the way to do this was through bright bold colors and fonts, as well as hard sell language. She focused on the details and ended up with an ad that was exactly as she had envisioned. What she didn’t end up with was an ad that worked.
I admit; I was secretly happy. Okay, fine; I was obnoxiously and unabashedly elated. So what.
Anyway…whether I’m writing a brand ad for a marketing client or an online dating profile for a single man or woman, the same rules apply. That is, don’t get bogged down in the details first. Start by looking at your objective then make sure to craft an ad or dating profile in a way that helps you reach the goal.
I had a client say, “I want a man who’s tall and fit”. Instead of following her directions, I asked her what the goal of having a tall, fit man was. She replied, “It makes me feel safe”. So, rather than alienate all men who weren’t tall, we agreed to craft her dating profile to attract men who were confident, resourceful and protective – all the virtues that she assigned to height and fitness level. Her dating profile ended up giving her exactly what she wanted.
Another client of mine wanted to find someone who was younger. I asked why and discovered that my client attributed vivaciousness, energy and a positive outlook to those who were his junior. Again, I chose not to get stuck on details and instead wrote a profile clearly designed to attract people who were full of youth and spirit – whether they were younger or not. He was thrilled with the result – he found a woman who turned out to be his age and a riot to be around.
I do, in fact, think it’s important to be specific in your dating profile so that what you want from a potential mate is clearly defined. However, be sure that the specifics actually add up to your ideal. Otherwise you can end up with a dating profile that says exactly what you want, but gives you no chance of getting it. This is yet another reason why you should hire a professional online dating profile writer (me) so that you can maximize your chances of success.
For help on how to write a great online dating profile, check out the dating profile samples or go straight to the fun free personality quiz. It will help you uncover your unique traits.
