All posts tagged with online dating advice
Online dating profiles that say I have an unnatural attachment to my Harley.
When I was 2 years old, I dropped a pair of glasses into a sewer to see if they could float. That they couldn’t infuriated my mother and puzzled me. This was the first in a long history of confusion. For instance, I’m bewildered by the popularity of Kate plus Eight. I wouldn’t even grasp the popularity of Brad Pitt plus Eight (or 100…oh come on, we all know that’s where it’s going). Certain Black Eyed Peas lyrics are baffling… read more →
Dating profile pictures that make me go “oh come on!”
When Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin named their child, Apple. I thought, “Oh come on.” When Madonna kissed Britney, I cringed and said, “Oh come on.” When a friend showed me a Youtube video of Bush dancing with an African band, I spat out the tea I was sipping and laughing like a lunatic, said, “Oh come on” followed by “oh gross, sorry”. The tea sort of landed on his computer screen, but anyway… Recently I visited Match.com, PlentyofFish and… read more →
Can you spot the celebrities dating online?
I was on Match.com the other day and saw Elizabeth Hurley online. How exciting and, truth be told, how surprising. For one, I thought she was married and yet there she was looking for long term. Second, I happen to know that the picture she posted was at least 8 years old (not to mention a bit blurry), which is a little bit deceptive, let’s face it. Nevertheless I was pretty giddy. I mean, Elizabeth Hurley was online dating! I… read more →
Is there a high mortality rate among singles dating online?
I’ve seen so many online dating profiles claiming, “life is short” that I’m beginning to think I just might be able to max out my credit cards and get away with it. That upside aside, do online daters have some freakishly high mortality rate that I didn’t know about? For the record, I know about a half a dozen people in their 90’s who would disagree with life being short. I suggest not using that claim on your online dating… read more →
How to say, “I’m socially inept” on your dating profile.
Some things…no that’s not true – many things – are a mystery to me. For instance, though I couldn’t give a rat’s behind what’s inside a Caramilk bar, I would dearly love to know what’s underneath Justin Beiber’s fringe. I’d also love to know how come the Olsen twins are beginning to look like Ozzie Osbourne. Is it just the round sunglasses and frailty or is there some genetic link waiting to be disclosed by all the tabloids (or did… read more →
Is your online dating profile too good for words?
Have you ever walked into a bar and suddenly members of the opposite sex threw themselves at you – without you even saying a word? Do people see you and automatically assume you’re a babe magnet? Do you find that you get by on your looks alone? If you’ve said no to one of these questions, chances are you’ve said no to all of them. So, when you join an online dating site and do nothing but post a profile… read more →
Online dating and critical thinking.
One of my friends was concerned about online dating because she heard you could meet a lot of creeps on dating sites. I asked her if she had ever met creeps in a bar. She said she had. I asked her if she had ever met creeps at parties. She said yes. I asked her if she had ever met creeps at weddings. Guess what? She had. The point is you can meet creeps anywhere. Online dating sites don’t have… read more →
“My, what a long arm you have!” and other drawbacks of taking your own dating profile picture.
You know those motivational books that tell you to smile at yourself in the mirror every day? Few people ever take the advice. Know why? Because it feels really silly. Unless you’re Anthony Robbins flashing yourself a smile can feel forced and awkward – and it shows. This is precisely why you shouldn’t take your own online dating profile picture. I scan hundreds of dating profiles on all the major sites from Match.com to POF to Jdate. No one takes… read more →
Online dating and seriously looking for humor?
Some online daters take humor way too seriously. Here are some quotes I took from dating profiles I found on just one online dating site: I love a sense of humor because humor helps us see things in a pro-active light. I love people with a sense of humor because humor gives us perspective. To find humor and an intense connection, that is my mantra. Wow, talk about somber. I’d probably find more levity in a scientology pamphlet. If you… read more →
Online dating because you’re tired of being alone?
When I see an online dating profile that says “tired of being alone”, do I think “don’t let this tiger get away”?. No. Not ever. “Tired of being alone” makes me think you’re desperately lonely. By that I mean “bring bread to a park and even pigeons wouldn’t keep you company” kind of lonely. Saying “tired of being alone” sounds as though no one wants to be around you. If you’re on match.com, Lavalife, Plenty of Fish, or any of… read more →
