All posts tagged with online dating profile writing

Online Dating Profiles. The Agony, Part 7.

I recently read a quote by 23-year old pop star, Ke$ha. It went like this: “I actually don’t read anything, because I feel like the haters really like to hate out loud, [and] that people who love sometimes love quietly. So I don’t really listen or look at anything.” This confused me and I read it several times with the sincere belief that I must be not grasping some subtlety or hidden message. As it turns out, she simply didn’t… read more

Online Dating Profiles. The Agony, Part 5.

Once again, this blog features a few rather remarkable online dating profiles. This week, I also – once again – noticed a lot of angry online daters. Why someone thinks a rant will land a good date, I have no idea. But then I’m puzzled by many things, like why faces don’t get goose bumps.   As you read these excerpts, please keep in mind that most people write their dating profiles with an honest effort and they’re not bad.… read more

Online dating profiles. The Agony, part 4.

Before I paste excerpts of online dating profiles I’ve scanned this week, I need to make this very clear: few people know how to market themselves on dating sites. Most everyone could benefit from the help of a marketing expert and ad writer. People do their best and actually don’t do too badly. However, to really stand out, that’s not enough.   Then there are those who are not like most people – and this will become painfully clear as… read more

Online dating and dumb things men do.

Sometimes, in their endless attempt to fit into modern society, men do dumb things. They try to fix a woman’s problems rather than nod their heads, make eye contact, and act as though they’re paying attention. They start renovation projects when there’s nothing to renovate, or they try to put together the DVD unit (usually after dismantling it out of curiosity). They also learn to play guitar because they think it’ll make them look cool, thus never considering how it… read more

Online dating profiles. The Agony, part 3.

Most singles dating online write relatively unremarkable dating profiles (reason enough to hire me, a marketing expert and writer, to craft them). Still, a handful write some truly remarkable ones. This week, while scanning the big online dating sites, I found a number of such profiles and, in this third installment of my weekly series, will share excerpts from five of them: Ms Christian Gurl says: THERE IS ONLY ONE PERFECT MAN AND THATS JESUS BUT SOMEWHERE OUT THERE IS… read more

Online dating profiles. The Agony Part 2.

It’s the end of the week. Time for me to share the “hurts so good” moments I’ve had over the past 7 days while scanning online dating profiles. Bear in mind that these dating profiles do not reflect the average person, and are most likely suggestive of inbreeding. BFF wrote: IS THEIR ANY GOOD GUYS LEFT?? WHY IS ALL GUYS ON HERE JUST LOOKING FOR A PIECE OF ASS???Im looking for a guy that knows how to treat a lady.… read more

Online dating profiles, the Agony Part 1.

I once worked for someone who, for some unintelligible reason, decided that a picture of a 1950’s clown on a print ad for 20-year old adrenaline junkies would be funny. It wasn’t. It made no sense at all. The only thing funny was how bad the ad was. This same person was also pretty pleased with himself for coming up with an ad that made reference to the TV show “Twin Peaks” even though the ad was designed for people… read more

Confessions of online dating profiles.

A few years ago, when I still believed that Facebook statuses were innocent and pure, I accepted friend request from an acquaintance with an inner Tila Tequila. My news feeds thereafter were never the same. Her statuses blared with such gems as: “After a session like that, I wish I smoked. Wink, wink. Oh wait a minute. I was smoking.”   I don’t know what traumatized me more, the puns or the visuals of her having hot sex. Like some… read more

Here it is, the most popular online dating profile ever!

Bet you didn’t know that “Happy Birthday to you” has a copyright value of $5 million US. Given that statistic, I have to figure there’s a really rich, really happy eccentric out there who’s collecting millions from the following profile. It’s high in popularity but low in distinctiveness:   Looking for my soulmate, are you out there? (That headline alone must be worth millions in royalties and is second only to “life is short”). I luv life (as opposed to… read more

This is your brain. This is your brain on online dating sites.

I’ve had a frown line on my forehead ever since high school chemistry class. Even after discovering truancy and my friend, Betty Gormley’s talent at writing fake absentee notes from my “parents”, that frown line never dissipated. However, since becoming on online dating profile writer, I swear it’s deepened considerably. Now that I scan online dating sites all the time, I no longer wonder about the chemistry of atoms. Instead, I wonder about the brain chemistry of singles dating online.… read more