All posts tagged with online dating profiles
What’s more embarrassing than online dating? Being David Hasselhoff, for starters.
The other day, my niece gave me a book that had a quote from David Hasselholf. It was, “There are many dying children out there whose last wish it is to meet me.” If I were David, I’d be so embarrassed by that quote. Then again, if you’re David Hasselhoff you’re probably protected by misguided narcissism and don’t really know you should be embarrassed, in the same way that William Shatner probably feels no shame for his tour de force… read more →
Does your online dating profile sound as though you’ve had a wee bit too much Red Bull?
No matter what online dating site I scan, I find dating profiles that list so many activities, that they sound like a commercial for Red Bull, or tampons for that matter. I run. I jog. I swim. I dance. I kickbox. I ski. I climb. Ugh. And I bet they do all that without a single cramp. Lists like that can lose the audience. They’re dull. I’d rather listen to someone with echolalia (a speech disorder where someone repeats… read more →
Why some online dating profiles are a little like plastic surgery.
Breast implants and some online dating profiles have a lot in common. Both can look happy and bouncy. Both can get your attention. Both can be impossible to ignore. Yet, upon closer inspection, there’s nothing in them that’s real. The big difference is that most people won’t reject you over plastic surgery (unless you’re that horrifying cat lady, Jocelyn Wildenstein, or Carrot Top, or Mickey Rourke.) Point is, while an embellished profile might initially arouse the interest of potential suitors,… read more →
Online dating and looking for a man who looks good in your clothes?
When I was little, a pigeon walked right out in front of my Mom. I blurted, “Wow pigeons are brave!” My Mom retorted, “They aren’t brave Kate; they’re dumb.” Upon scanning some dating profiles on one of the mainstream dating sites, I was reminded once again of the difference between brave and dumb. I was reading dating profiles found in the long-term relationship section of the site, not the intimate encounters section. Yet, I came across the profile of a… read more →
Dating profiles and headlines that make me go ick.
Though I believe that every online dating profile should be written in a way that’s as brilliantly deliberate and as emotionally manipulative as an ad (though in advertising we use the euphemism “strategic”), I’m not convinced that the headline has as much importance. People tend to look at the photos then go straight to reading profiles. A headine is usually inconsequential unless it’s especially good or bad. My concern is with the bad ones. I scanned three sites today: Match.com,… read more →
I’m a “god” guy and other reasons to spell check your dating profile.
I’ve been known to forget many things. In fact, my sister is convinced that I’ve had ridiculously early Alzheimer’s since I was six years old when I forgot to turn off the bath water and it ended up flooding her bedroom. Nevertheless, despite my memory lapses, there are just some things you never forget. For instance, I never seem to forget the words to Delta Dawn (what’s that flower you have on, could it be a faded rose…) I also… read more →
Dating profile pictures that make me go “oh come on!”
When Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin named their child, Apple. I thought, “Oh come on.” When Madonna kissed Britney, I cringed and said, “Oh come on.” When a friend showed me a Youtube video of Bush dancing with an African band, I spat out the tea I was sipping and laughing like a lunatic, said, “Oh come on” followed by “oh gross, sorry”. The tea sort of landed on his computer screen, but anyway… Recently I visited Match.com, PlentyofFish and… read more →
Can you spot the celebrities dating online?
I was on Match.com the other day and saw Elizabeth Hurley online. How exciting and, truth be told, how surprising. For one, I thought she was married and yet there she was looking for long term. Second, I happen to know that the picture she posted was at least 8 years old (not to mention a bit blurry), which is a little bit deceptive, let’s face it. Nevertheless I was pretty giddy. I mean, Elizabeth Hurley was online dating! I… read more →
Is there a high mortality rate among singles dating online?
I’ve seen so many online dating profiles claiming, “life is short” that I’m beginning to think I just might be able to max out my credit cards and get away with it. That upside aside, do online daters have some freakishly high mortality rate that I didn’t know about? For the record, I know about a half a dozen people in their 90’s who would disagree with life being short. I suggest not using that claim on your online dating… read more →
I don’t care what dating “experts” say, headlines on dating profiles don’t matter.
Does the headline on your dating profile actually matter? According to most online dating “experts”, it does. As a marketing expert, I say it doesn’t – not when it comes to dating profiles. The reason why a headline in an print ad or bus board matters so much is because you have seconds to distract people from whatever it is they’re doing and get them to pay attention to you. Rarely do people open a newspaper because they’re objective is… read more →
