I read a number of random dating profiles today of single, straight women and decided that they’d be as appealing to men as the words “we need to talk”.
Ladies, there’s nothing quite so misguided as filling up your profile with long, emotional narratives that culminate with verses by Rumi.
Seriously, a lot of women’s dating profiles read like Harlequin romances. Harlequin – you know those books that are all the rage among men (yes, I’m being facetious).
Still others included poems. Poems? Really? Think about it – on a scale from 0 to, well, let’s say 0, so that there’s no mistaking the answer, how likely will a poem attract a gender who falls in love with cars?
Men and women like different things. Not always, but often. Granted many men like to cook. Many keep clean homes. Many men secretly take bubble baths. You’ll even see men at yoga classes (though I’m convinced that’s so they can watch the downward dogs from the back of the class).
And yes – there are men who love poetry and are in touch with their emotions. Nevertheless, despite evolution, we’re generally two different genders.
Consider this uber female experience:
I ran into a lesbian friend of mine one day who was exhausted. It seems she and her girlfriend stayed up all night sharing their feelings and working through a disagreement. “It was great”, she said lovingly and sleep deprived.” Appalled, I retorted, “That – that right there is why I’d never be gay. I’d rather have a sex change than talk all night about my feelings.” Even I couldn’t handle so female an experience, and I can sometimes have more estrogen than a Justin Bieber fan club.
It’s okay to be a romantic. It’s okay to share feelings. It’s okay to love Harlequin romances and poetry. It’s even okay to include a favorite verse on your dating profile. I’m a big one for being yourself so that you attract a match that wants, specifically, “you”. Besides, men tend to love what makes us feminine. However, be sure to consider some of the activities and interests that you’re also likely to share.
In addition, remember that you’re on a dating site filled with strangers. This is not the place to pour your heart out.
Instead, be a savvy marketer and consider the environment where your ad will be posted. In your profile’s case, it’s going on the virtual equivalent of a singles bar. So don’t sound lovesick. Be engaging, fun, feminine – and share your interests with “connecting and bonding” in mind.
If you’re not sure how to achieve the right balance, then hire me to help you. Though I’ll keep it from sounding like a chick flick manuscript, I’ll nonetheless ensure that it’s true to you.
Check out my online dating profile samples and see for yourself. Or, go straight to the personality quiz. It’s the first step in making your online dating profile different and more interesting than anyone else’s.
