The lovely Doris Day in Teacher’s Pet.
You may have noticed that I love giving my opinion. I like being a guest on podcasts; I enjoy writing this blog; I also admit to a special fondness for my $20 service even though I make more money on the $80 one. However, despite my gregarious approach to telling anyone who’ll listen (or read) what I think, there are just some things that you really don’t need to hear from an online dating profile writer. In fact, I’ve compiled a list based on my opinion, of course:
You don’t need an online dating profile writer to tell you that:
1. A profile picture of cleavage will attract a man to your breasts and, thereafter, you can kiss goodbye any chance of him focusing on anything else; and that
wife-beater shirts will attract Rosanne Barr.
2. Saying you’re a nice guy looking for a good woman or that you’re a good woman looking for a nice guy has about as much mojo as a romantic dinner of jellied salad and warm milk.
3. “Looking for my soulmate” has been said more often than “BP oil is doing everything we can”
4. Saying “I can dress up as easily as I can dress down” is only interesting if you are doing it to the soundtrack of Boogie Nights.
5. Posting a picture with you next to someone whose head has been torn off makes Mel Gibson seem misunderstood.
6. Saying “I love to laugh” on your online dating profile is only interesting if what follows are the words “now that I’ve stopped taking my meds” and that “Live, Love, Laugh” is more insipid than a Beach Boys cover band.
7. Saying you’re “young at heart” makes me think I’d rather see Hugh Hefner naked (which, for the record, I don’t).
8. Posting photos of sunsets on your dating profile is about as relevant as the Discovery Channel doing a show on hair removal.
Online dating profiles are replete with clichés and misguided ideas of what’s appealing. Too many people are so busy trying to fit in that they forget how to stand out. This is yet another reason why you should hire a professional online dating profile writer (me) so that you can maximize your chances of success.
For help in uncovering what makes you unique, be sure to fill out the fun free personality quiz. . You can also get some pointers by checking out the samples.
